Doug Ireland: Nothing's impossible Albert. Impossible just takes a couple extra phone calls.
Michael Chapman: I turned Angela from a pickpocket into a star into a shoplifter.
Dwight Hansen: Liar, whore, liar, whore and you know it.
Dr. Armbruster: The HIV virus can only be transmitted through the exchange of bodily fluids, namely blood, semen, and vaginal secretions.
Julie: The pain... The pain keeps the hunger away.
Iggy: All right, Kids, come in here and Clean up Yer Bloody Room! I know well, cuz I'm 37, and don't make Me beat You with Leg of Mine that no longer Works cuz I'll do it.
Richard Miller: Is there a wrong way to fall down a fucking mountain?
Regina: If you want your dog back, call my lawyer.
Sister Mary Robert: The only thing the chef knows how to cook is German sausage.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Day after day, liverwurst, bratwurst, beerwurst.
Sister Mary Patrick: It's the "worst."
Hope Burnford: Hungry?
Sassy: No.
Hope Burnford: But it's shrimp. You like shrimp.
Sassy: Yeah, well, I've still got those four pesky ounces still hanging on from last Christmas.
Caine: For all the bullshit they try to teach you in high school, I graduated with about half of it. But then, I didn't go to school but half the time. The other half, I was out selling dope. Growing up out here, there was shit that couldn't be learned in no classroom.
Cyclops: You starin' at my eye?
All: No.no...
Cyclops: A Union Army Soldier did this to me in the big one. Any you boys fight for the Union Army?
Miller: Shucks no.
Bell: Shucky dang darn...
Cyclops: So you the boys been killin' all my sheepies with them traps...
Noon: Naw... We just now gots here...
Cyclops: Where you from?
Humphrey: Nashville.
Cyclops: Well, heck, it's good to see some southern boys. It's been a while. [Singing.] Well I wish I was in the land of cotton, old times there are not forgotten, look away, look away, look away... [waits for others to finish.]
Humphrey:... You stupid Yank.
Cyclops: You ain't southern boys!
All: AAAAHHHHH!
Larry Lipton: Claustrophobia and a dead body - this is a neurotic's jackpot.
Grandma Georgiana: Your mama had to go away for a while.
Young Anna Mae Bullock: When is she coming back to get me?
Grandma Georgiana: She ain't, honey. She just ain't.
James Wright: How many Beatles are there?
Kyle Davidson: Three... and Ringo.
Jubei: Gemma! Did you miss the flames of hell? Is that why you came here?
Lord Himuro Gemma: So it's you, Jubei. I should've finished you off myself when I had the opportunity.
Jubei: I thought rats usually leave a sinking ship.
Lord Himuro Gemma: Heh! I suppose you want to avenge that ninja girl, Kagero. She's nothing compared to what I'm going to lose with this ship.
Jubei: Prepare to lose your life as well.
Eddie Papasano: Let me tell you people something, no matter what happens here today, if you try to close my joint, I 'll sue the ass off you.
Dr. Don Francis: Doesn't it bother you knowing that the people who have sex in your bath-house are playing Russian roulette?
Eddie Papasano: Please just cut out this bullshit. We're all in this for one thing: money. I make'em when the guys come in. You doctors, you make'em when they go out.
Joy Gresham: We can't have the happiness of yesterday without the pain of today. That's the deal.
The Narrator: Carriages waited at the curb for the entire performance. It was widely known in New York, but never acknowledged, that Americans want to get away from amusement even more quickly than they want to get to it.