Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it.
Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.
Ying Ying: Losing him does not matter. It is you who will be found - and cherished.
Dr. Armbruster: The HIV virus can only be transmitted through the exchange of bodily fluids, namely blood, semen, and vaginal secretions.
Miss Kenton: Why? Why, Mr. Stevens, why do you always have to hide what you feel?
Richard Miller: Is there a wrong way to fall down a fucking mountain?
Paul: It is the worst kind of yellowness to be so scared of yourself that you put blindfolds on rather than deal with yourself. To face ourselves - that's the hard thing. The imagination - that's God's gift, to make the act of self-examination bearable.
Doug Ireland: Nothing's impossible Albert. Impossible just takes a couple extra phone calls.
Rebecca Carlson: There's nothing wrong with admitting that you want me, Frank.
Steve Lattimer: I don't know, its the battle, the going to war with the other guys, hanging together, having our own dorm, staying in hotels the night before the games, setting ourselves apart, being different than everybody else, having a chance to be somebody, to do something that people look up to you for, your strength, your courage, not everybody can play football... were the lucky ones.
Larry Lipton: Claustrophobia and a dead body - this is a neurotic's jackpot.
Mikey Ubriacco: I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday.
James: I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.
Iggy: All right, Kids, come in here and Clean up Yer Bloody Room! I know well, cuz I'm 37, and don't make Me beat You with Leg of Mine that no longer Works cuz I'll do it.
Max Goldman: If I had known I would be doing a nude scene, I'd have asked for another million.
Michael Chapman: I turned Angela from a pickpocket into a star into a shoplifter.
Sister Mary Robert: The only thing the chef knows how to cook is German sausage.
Sister Mary Lazarus: Day after day, liverwurst, bratwurst, beerwurst.
Sister Mary Patrick: It's the "worst."
Joon: You can't throw him out, I won him.
Narrator: When you're really really poor, everything you see is something you can't have.
Nancy Archer: Missed me?
Harry Archer: I don't suppose you want to hear my side of this?