Maxton: I heard you resigned from the Scouts.
Jim: I've become an atheist.
Watts: Don't go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs.
Jane: He's a friend of mine from school.
Jeff: A FRIEND?
Bob Morales: Look it's Woody Woodpecker and Buzz Buzzard, Man they make cartoons here.
Washburn: Oh man, if you can't fry it, I won't eat it.
Joe Kenehan: You think this man is the enemy? Huh? This is a worker! Any union keeps this man out ain't a union, it's a goddam club! They got you fightin' white against colored, native against foreign, hollow against hollow, when you know there ain't but two sides in this world - them that work and them that don't. You work, they don't. That's all you get to know about the enemy.
Patrick Morenski: Okay, on one end of the spectrum you've got homo, and on the other you've got hetero. Then there's me, way the fuck over here.
Sgt. Gustav Wagner: This morning, two prisoners escaped from North Camp. Thirteen other prisoners, no doubt inspired by their idiotic example, also tried to escape. If any of you would like to cheer, go right ahead. There will be no more escape attempts in this camp. I'll repeat that. there will be no more escape attempts in this camp.
Mrs. Biddle: This man out of absolutely nowhere, this man appeared. Heh! So charming. Not really handsome, but... riveting. Yes, that's the word. I was riveted. I was looking into his eyes, and I found myself thinking thoughts I hadn't entertained since World War II. I think I actually... blushed.
Lex Luthor: Lenny, I've always considered you the Dutch Elm disease in my family tree.
Loy Colton: Caleb, those people back there, they wasn't normal. Normal folks, they don't spit out bullets when you shoot 'em, no sir.
Nathan White: I know about your friend's daughter, Mr. Kersey. I also know that you shot the pusher who sold her the drugs. But I ask you, sir, what about the people behind him? How many children do we let them destroy before we say enough, Mr. Kersey? How many?
Patty Winston: He hit me daddy! And then he kicked me in my hiney.
Elmo St. Peters: Now where did that radio go? I could have sworn I left it right here in this very spot. What did it do, just get up and walk away?
Chainsaw: We just got lapped by an old lady in a walker.
Ronald Miller: Nerds, jocks. My side, your side. It's all bullshit. Its hard enough just trying to be yourself.
Mike: You see, in my trade, this is called - what you did - you cracked out of turn. Huh? You see? You crumbed the play.
Tom Granick: It's amazing who's here.
Jane Craig: Who?
Tom Granick: Me.
Cathy: Christopher, what is it?
Chris: A copy of Grandfather's will. It's 2 months old. It says if it was ever proven Mom had children from her first marriage, even after he's dead, she'd be disinherited.
Cathy: Mother's known all this time that we could never be found.
Chris: She never meant for us to leave that attic.