Dr. Carroll: The chimp might be smart but I think his trainer's smarter. You've earned yourself a promotion.
Rebecca: Jack has a baby?
Peter Mitchell: I realise such a concept tends to negate our belief in a benevolent God, but yes.
Doc Bass: I've been knocked down and insulted. I'm hot and dirty. I'm calling it a day.
Girl #2: You wanna see a dog wanking off into a garbage pail?
Ernest P. Worrell: No. I-I can't eat on an empty stomach.
Catherine Peterson: Mr. Shin, I'll tell you two things about me: I'm very rich. And I'm very wealthy.
Captain Barrett Coldyron: We scientists are like degreed science-fiction writers. We're all prognosticators of the future. And since our particular purpose of vision belongs to the creed of law enforcement, we open inroads into tomorrow in ways and means of those who would serve and protect justice and order.
Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake: There is a distinct difference between killing someone and fucking them.
Victor Duncan: Why don't you do yourself a favor and go back to your white-bread, suburban, cesspool land while you still have a chance?
Rick Latimer: I can't.
Seth Romero: If brains were birdshit you'd have a clean cage.
Gabriel: What's the matter... afraid of the dark?
Judy Bower: No... afraid of what's in the dark.
Grandfather George: You want to know why they're called Faith, Hope, Grace and Charity?
Bill Rowen: Why?
Grandfather George: Your Grandmother. She named them after the virtues I lack. That's marriage for you.
Faye Riley: Hey Frank, guess what I did.
Frank Riley: What now?
Faye Riley: I named those little guys. Flotsam and Jetsam, isn't that cute?
Frank Riley: Yeah cute.
Faye Riley: Be nice, Papa.
Frank Riley: I'm always nice.
Willy: I... I just went to get the gun, trying to show you how to put a bullet in the chamber. See that? I got him right between the eyes! Just like I said... Right between the eyes! Damn... You see that Ally? Right betw... right between the eyes! Just like I said. Between... between the eyes. Got him... I got him, right between the eyes Ally! I got the fucker right between the eyes. Right between the eyes Ally. Just like I said... Right between the eyes.
Eddie Murphy: Richard said, "The next time the motherfucker call, tell him I said, "Suck my dick." I don't give a fuck. Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Do you get paid?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, tell Bill I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Jello pudding-eating motherfucker."
Jack Citron: You know this movie's about pop culture? In the 60s, Andy Warhol showed us how Pop could be high art. That everything is high art. That's what this is all about. For example, in your first scene you'll be gang raped by four monsters.
Pinhead: Taste our pleasures.
Wild Bill Woodward: I don't like that tiny maggot, I don't like him at all. I mean what is this? Ninjas? Drug pushers? My men being kidnapped and murdered? This is really beginning to get on my tits.
Teri Marshall: Please don't hurt her.
Alex Forrest: You're here with a strange girl being a naughty boy.
Dan Gallagher: I don't think having dinner with anybody's a crime.