Gramps: Don't call me sir! I ain't no politician.
Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: I just wish you didn't look so worried.
Jonathan Switcher: That's easy for you to say. You're a mannequin, you'll always have work.
Jack Jericho: Being with you isn't a gamble, you can only gamble when you have a choice. I wanna be with you forever, and I don't have a choice about that, maybe I don't have a prayer in the world, but that's not a gamble. Maybe what I feel is not good for you, or for me but I'm not gonna stand here and listen to you tell me it's a bad habit.
Reverend Chester: I believe that I've got a job for you.
Francis Phelan: I worked today up at the cemetery.
Reverend Chester: Splendid.
Francis Phelan: Well, shovelin' dirt ain't all that splendid.
Kathleen Riley: I spend all of my day with murders and rapists, and what's really crazy, I like them.
Peggy Ramsay: At moments of triumph, men can do without their wives... But sharing is what wives want.
Det. Lt. Morgan: Valerie Johnson was to become the modelling world's newest young star... But suddenly couldn't get a job starring in a freak show.
Peter: Lock the door, and hide the key. Go on. Do as your director says.
Rhonda Shand: You're the only man whoever bet on a horse that started from a kneeling position.
Gale: You understand, H.I.? If this works out, it's just the beginning of a spree to cover the entire southwest proper. And we keep going until we can retire. Or we get caught.
Evelle: Either way, we're fixed for life.
Warden Maxwell: Shut up, you yellow belly hippie! Do as I told you!
Lester Bacon: Buddy's a good boy, but he has what you might call basic hygiene problems.
Jan: Baby take very, very much work.
Peter Mitchell: Thanks for telling me that, Jan, I did not know that. What is he, an idiot savant?
Catherine Peterson: Mr. Shin, I'll tell you two things about me: I'm very rich. And I'm very wealthy.
George Jetson: That's grass. I read about it in ancient history.
J.C. Wiatt: ... And your sister's name in Wiesbaden - in case of an emergency - and her prison record if any..
Helga Von Haupt: Excuse me?
J.C. Wiatt: Uh, oh, silly! I mean her address if you have it.
Grandfather George: You want to know why they're called Faith, Hope, Grace and Charity?
Bill Rowen: Why?
Grandfather George: Your Grandmother. She named them after the virtues I lack. That's marriage for you.
Clell Hazard: And hey, Goody, watch your mouth.
"Goody" Nelson: Fuckin'-A-a-a-a.