Mr. Lundie: Two hundred years ago, the highlands of Scotland were plagued with witches, wicked sorcerers that were taking the Scottish people away from the teachings of God and putting the Devil into their souls. They were indeed horrible destructive women. I dinna suppose you have such women in your country?
Tommy Albright: Witches?
Jeff Douglas: Oh we have 'em. We pronounce it differently.
Mother in Diner: Why are they doing this? Why are they doing this? They said when you got here, the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you're the cause of all this. I think you're evil. Evil!
Dr Ventress: It's destroying everything.
Lena: It's not destroying. It's making something new.
Grinch: Christmas already? Ugh.
Richard Collier: Please, don't leave. You have no idea how far I've come to be with you.
Craig Toomy: Oh I'm real scared now.
Anya: [reading letter.] "I am sure he hurts the poor little kitten and when I cry, he just laughs at me. Yours sincerely, Miss Sarah Foster." You were quite right to bring this to our attention, Dooley. That little boy must not get a present.
Santa Claus: No present for him? Every child should get a present.
Anya: It's time to change the rules.
Santa Claus: You'll have folks saying that Santa Claus only rewards the good little boys and girls.
Anya: Isn't that as it should be?
Santa Claus: Alright. Dooley, make up a list of who is naughty and nice.
Dooley: Yes, sir.
Santa Claus: And be careful. I'll be checking it twice.
Zeus: If I had to punish every blasphemy, I would have no followers.
Elise Reiner: Who is she?
Elise Reiner: A parasite. She befriended your astral body and lured you into the further just as Dalton has been.
Randall: People who are always right make me sick.
Fidgit: That's why you get along with yourself so well.
The Horned King: I presume, my boy, you are the keeper of this oracular pig.
George Little: Maybe we should go home.
Mr. Little: Why?
George Little: I'm not wearing my lucky underwear.
Mr. Little: You don't have lucky underwear.
George Little: Well, maybe we should get some, and then come back for another race.
Grandpa Fred: They put me on at 3am. People who are awake at 3am aren't afraid of the Wolfman. The only thing that frightens those people is sobering up and going to work.
Chandler Jarrell: I don't know, maybe he cut himself shaving and bled to death looking for a kleenex.
Kaulder: One means nothing. Two, a coincidence. Three, trouble.
Harley Quinn: Huh? What was that? I should kill everyone and escape? Sorry. The voices. Ahaha, I'm kidding! Jeez! That's not what they really said.
Pugsley: Are they dead?
Wednesday: Does it matter?