Jack Sparrow: Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them... Three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to get yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?
Flynn Rider: They just can't get my nose right.
Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
Bella Swan: Should I come back?
Jacob Black: I need some time, but I'll always be waiting.
Bella Swan: Until my heart stops beating.
Jacob Black: Maybe even then.
Jane Foster: [slaps Loki.] That was for New York!
Loki: I like her.
Ingeras: In the year of our Lord, fourteen forty-two, the Turkish sultan enslaved one thousand Transylvanian boys to fill the ranks of his army. These child slaves were beaten without mercy, trained to kill without conscience, to crave the blood of all who defied the Turks. From among these boys, one grew into a warrior so fierce that entire armies would retreat in terror at the mention of his name. Vlad the Impaler. Son of the Dragon. Sickened by his monstrous acts, Vlad came to bury his past with the dead and returned to Transylvania to rule in peace. His subjects called him Prince. I called him Father. But the world would come to know him as...Dracula.
Rockbiter: They look like big, good, strong hands. Don't they? I always thought that's what they were. My little friends. The little man with his racing snail, the Nighthob, even the stupid bat. I couldn't hold on to them. The nothing pulled them right out of my hands. I failed.
Atreyu: No you didn't fail. I'm the one who was chosen to stop the nothing. But I lost the Auryn, I can't find my luck dragon, so I won't be able to get past the boundaries of Fantasia.
Rockbiter: Listen, the nothing will be here any minute. I will just sit here and let it take me away too. They look like good, strong hands. Don't they?
Ebenezer Scrooge: What do you want with me?
Jacob Marley: You will be haunted by three spirits.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I'd rather not.
Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.
Barnabas Collins: What is your age?
Carolyn Stoddard: Fifteen.
Barnabas Collins: Fifteen, and no husband? You must put those child-bearing hips to good use, lest your womb shrivel up and die.
Tony Stark: What's the vibranium for?
Ultron: I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan.
Uncle Vernon: And Dudley, you will be?
Dudley Dursley: I'll be waiting to open the door.
Uncle Vernon: Excellent. And you?
Harry: I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.
Omi: It started with the wind, on a cold night, much like this. It was almost Christmas, but this Christmas was darker, less cheerful. But I still believed in Santa, in magic and miracles, and the hope that we could find joy again. But our village had given up on miracles, and on each other. They had forgotten the spirit of Christmas, the sacrifice of giving, and my family was no different. I tried to help them to believe again, but we were no longer the loving family I remembered. They too had given up. And eventually, so did I. And for the first time, I didn't wish for a miracle. I wished for them to go away. A wish I would come to regret. And that night, in the darkness of a howling blizzard... I got my wish. I knew Saint Nicholas was not coming this year. Instead, it was a much darker, more ancient spirit. The shadow of Saint Nicholas. It was... Krampus. And as he had for thousands of years, Krampus came not to reward, but to punish, not to give, but to take. He, and his helpers. I could only listen as they dragged my family into the underworld, knowing that I would be next. But Krampus did not take me that night. He left me, as a reminder of what happens when hope is lost, when belief is forgotten, and the Christmas spirit...dies.
Gimli: Certainty of death; small chance of success...what are we waiting for?
Jack Sparrow: I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hand of this weirdness.
Prince Henry: I have been born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations.
Leonardo da Vinci: Horseshit.