Coach Finstock: There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.
Wyatt: By the way, why are we wearing bras on our heads?
Gary: It's ceremonial.
[Later, after Wyatt talks to Chet, Wyatt begins to leave the kitchen and Chet sees him wearing women's underwear.]
Chet: Like your panties.
Wyatt: [walking back into kitchen] It's a joke, Chet. Really.
Chet: No. That is not a joke. That is a severe behavioral disorder. Next thing you know you'll be wearing a bra on your head.
The Lord of Darkness: You think you have won! What is light without dark? What are you without me? I am a part of you all. You can never defeat me. We are brothers eternal.
The Horned King: I presume, my boy, you are the keeper of this oracular pig.
Anya: [reading letter.] "I am sure he hurts the poor little kitten and when I cry, he just laughs at me. Yours sincerely, Miss Sarah Foster." You were quite right to bring this to our attention, Dooley. That little boy must not get a present.
Santa Claus: No present for him? Every child should get a present.
Anya: It's time to change the rules.
Santa Claus: You'll have folks saying that Santa Claus only rewards the good little boys and girls.
Anya: Isn't that as it should be?
Santa Claus: Alright. Dooley, make up a list of who is naughty and nice.
Dooley: Yes, sir.
Santa Claus: And be careful. I'll be checking it twice.
Ron Grady: So, what about you and that rich babe you've been cruising to school with every day.
Jesse Walsh: What about her?
Ron Grady: Are you mounting her nightly or what?
Brave Heart Lion: A world without caring? This doesn't look like the Earth you talked about.
Tender Heart Bear: We've got stop it before it gets worse.
Gentle Heart Lamb: I don't think this place could get any worse.
Insane Prisoner: The Mouse? He left our house. No mouse today, he's run away. To ease the pain, he... he's down the drain.
Mr. Helpmann: Bad sportsmanship. A ruthless minority of people seem to have forgotten good old-fashioned virtues. They just can't stand seeing the other fellow win. If these people would just play the game.
Monk: All right, go ahead. Just see how far you get. Go on, go on. You won't last. You'll see how it is in the real world. Go on. You'll come back. You're just bluff. You're all phony. You'll be back. It may take a week, it may take an hour, but you'll be back.
Wicket: Star Cruiser Crash Crash.
Mombi III: Not beautiful you understand, but you have a certain prettiness, different from my other heads. I believe I'll lock you in the tower for a few years until your head is ready. And then I'll take it.
Dorothy: I believe you will NOT!
President Grimshaw: I don't want to see you near my daughter again. That innocent little flower is my treasure.