Donnie: Drink water.
Boyce: Three months ago, I was cutting grass on my front yard. The mailman shows up with a letter from the army. Now I'm here, and no idea where I'm going to end up.
Jamey: For the record, I think roses are the bitchy supermodels of flowers.
Mundy: Hey guys, check out my arm. I think my arm is trying to write something.
Oscar Wilde: I am my own Judas.
Jack Mulligan: What I've learned from men like my father and your husband is that you reap what you sow.
Veronica: Let's hope so.
Joe: Ok now this is epic.
Lucas Hill: My wife and I are old friends. And sometimes, with an old friend, you learn to squint away certain things, things you'd maybe rather not see.
Katya: Is it just her doing this, not-seeing, or you too?
Lucas Hill: The thing about squinting, you can never be certain what you might not be seeing.
Lord Nooth: The age of stone is over. Long live the age of bronze.
Shelly 'Elle' Evans: Are you a boy princess or a girl princess?
Sean: She's an enigma my wife. You can get close to her, but you never quite reach her. She's like a, beautiful ghost.
Robert Shafran: When I tell people my story, they don't believe it. I guess I wouldn't believe the story if someone else were telling it, but, I'm telling it and it's true, every word of it.
Duke: I wish somebody spoke his language.
Lily: Smile, open up, cross your legs, spread your pussy, speak softer, scream louder, be quiet, be confident, be interesting, don't be so difficult, be strong, don't fight back, be an angel, be a whore, be a princess, be anything you want to be, even the president of the United States of America. Just kidding. Fuck you.
Daphne Blake: Velma, the tube just ate her! The tube ate Mikayla!
Velma Dinkley: Okay, I'm...pretty sure it's just a secret elevator or something.
Daphne Blake: Okay, right, right. (00:53:25)
Trent Slater: Sharks don't eat nerds.
Harper: Guys think that they like girls who like sports. What they actually like is a girl in a very tight sports jersey, serving them wings and getting the terminology wrong. Guys like girls who like guys who like sports.
Oliver Hardy: You're not leaving, are you, Stan? The show must go on.