
Bob Stone: You're like a black Will Smith.

Clarence Goobril: Wordness to the turdness.

Willie: Spare some change. Think about somebody besides your fucking self.

Manny: So now when you masturbate you think about your mom?

Ambrose Hilliard: You and me given opportunities only because young men are gone. But to turn or back on those opportunities, wouldn't that be giving death dominion over life?

Sam Larson: If I go in there, I'm am gonna get murdered in the face.

Michelle Darnell: Pity's all you've got. Pity's your best friend.

Dave Stangle: Maybe Dad'll just forget about his ultimatum.
Mike Stangle: Why would Dad forget about an old tomato?
Dave Stangle: No, his ul... his ultimatum.
Mike Stangle: Old tom...?
Dave Stangle: Ultimatum.
Mike Stangle: Are you saying "old tomato"?
Dave Stangle: Ultima-tum, like a tomb or a crypt.

Carl: They are eating children! Fucking children.

Sebastian: I'm letting life hit me until it gets tired. Then I'll hit back. It's a classic rope-a-dope.

Buster Moon: When you've reached rock bottom, there's only one way to go, and that's up.

Amy: This party is raging.
Kiki: What a turnout.
Martha Stewart: Hi, would you ladies like a Jell-O shot?
Amy: Is that, is that? Martha Stewart! Martha, Oh, my God.
Kiki: Thank you. Oh, my God.
Martha Stewart: Good, right?
Carla: I'm cumming.
Kiki: Oh, my God. What's in this?
Martha Stewart: Well, it's bespoke lingonberry gelatin... and a shitload of vodka.
Kiki: They're delicious.
Martha Stewart: I start my day with six of these.

Carl Black: We gotta make sure there're no more black people 'round here, 'cause they will snitch.