Amy: This party is raging.
Kiki: What a turnout.
Martha Stewart: Hi, would you ladies like a Jell-O shot?
Amy: Is that, is that? Martha Stewart! Martha, Oh, my God.
Kiki: Thank you. Oh, my God.
Martha Stewart: Good, right?
Carla: I'm cumming.
Kiki: Oh, my God. What's in this?
Martha Stewart: Well, it's bespoke lingonberry gelatin... and a shitload of vodka.
Kiki: They're delicious.
Martha Stewart: I start my day with six of these.
Kiki: Oh, wow. This bra will be the death of your vagina.
Carla: My kid still watches Sesame Street and he doesn't get it.
Carla: First of all, you're so not a failure as a mother. In fact, you're the best mother that we've ever seen.
Kiki: True that.
Carla: You give your kids salad. Your remember your kids birthdays! I mean, I've sat here and watched you wait until your kid fell asleep before you got high.
Amy: Most moms do that, Carla.
Dr. Karl: Okay, remember when I said that all marriages are savable? Well, it ain't gonna happen for you guys.
Amy: So what do you think we should do?
Dr. Karl: Well, as a therapist, I'm not allowed to tell you what do to. But, uh, as a human being with two fucking eyes in my head, yeah I think you should get divorced as soon as possible. This is some catastrophic shit.
Jane: How do you know?
Amy: Because I'm your mom. I know what you're made of.
Gwendolyn: I'm pretty sure my brother-in-law just joined isis and he's a Jew.
Carla: Hey, Jaxon. I made you lunch today. It's some humus wrap with some kale.
Jaxon: Gross.
Carla: Yeah, I know, it sounds totally disgusting, but it's supposed to be good for you, so... And I'm gonna come to your baseball game tomorrow night.
Jaxon: For real?
Carla: I'm gonna stay the whole stupid game. Mmm-hmm. Because... I love you, and stuff. Still cannot believe I pushed that thing outta my chooch.
