Best comedy movie quotes of 2016

Ricky Baker: It was a relaxing song... and a relaxing sausage.

Kim Baker: I'm wondering if you can give me something... On background, just about the security situation here and the state of the war in general.
General Hollanek: Yeah, I can give you something... This war's like fucking a gorilla, you keep on going until the gorilla wants to stop.
Kim Baker: I think I can paraphrase that.
General Hollanek: Knock yourself out.

Florence Foster Jenkins: People may say I couldn't sing, but no one can ever say I didn't sing.

Branch: You don't get sarcasm, do you?
Cooper: I think I had a sarcasm once.

Clay Vanstone: I gotta tell you, I was always like, "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense," and she was like, "Words, words, words and some numbers." But she did it.

Eamon: We could rehearse here 'cause my da's in Saint John of Gods.
Darren: Is that a pub?
Eamon: No, Darren. It's a place where alcoholics go to get off the drink, and stop beating their wives and kids.
Darren: Right.
Eamon: And neighbors.

Bailey: I will tell you if there is a wall. Wall!

Moana: Okay, first, I am not a princess. I'm the daughter of the chief.
Maui: Same difference.
Moana: No.
Maui: If you wear a dress, and have an animal sidekick, you're a princess.

Snowball: Welcome my dogs! Oh, you guys look weird. Hurry up, come on in.
Buddy: You said it was a costume party.
Mel: Why do you listen to me?

Garrett: Luke, truth or dare.
Luke: Well, it will be dare, of course.
Garrett: Okay. I dare you to touch her tit.
Ashley: No! Please don't do that.
Luke: It's the universal rule, Ashley. Do you have a preference? Right or left?

Kevin: Can I bring my cat to work? He has terrible anxiety problems.
Abby Yates: Oh, I'd love to let you bring your cat to work, but I have a terrible cat allergy.
Kevin: I don't have a cat. He's a dog. His name is My Cat.
Abby Yates: You named your dog My Cat?
Kevin: Mike Hat.
Erin Gilbert: First name Mike, last name Hat?
Kevin: Well, his full name is Michael Hat.

Mark: Well, I can always find time to save the world. And Bridget, you're my world.

Felix Grant: I'm a cat whisperer.

Peaches: What's it like being a parent?
Ben: Every corny thing you've heard about having a kid is completely and utterly true... It's the only reason we're here.

David Ghantt: Sometimes the only way out... is through.

Dick Kelly: The greatest gift a grandson can give his grandfather is a hot college girl who wants to have unprotected sex with him before he dies.

Norman 'Nobby' Butcher: She's gonna release this deadly virus, and it's gonna kill poor people like us, because she thinks that we are scum.
Paedo Pete: Bloody hell, Nobby, we are scum.
Norman 'Nobby' Butcher: Well, you are, Pete. You're a registered sex offender. That's not a compliment.

Judge Peckinpah: Mr. Red! What do we do now?
Red: Wait... You're asking me?
Judge Peckinpah: You tried to tell us but we didn't listen. I didn't listen.

Mona: Here's what I do when I'm feeling down. I get very quiet and very still. And I say to myself, "Everyone in the world is as miserable and empty as I am. They're just better at pretending." Try it sometime. It might bring you some peace.

Madea: Do you know what I had to do when I was little to get candy?
Aunt Bam: What'd you have to do, Madea?
Madea: I had to give up candy to get candy, that's what I had to do.