Poppa: You are me, and more.
Max: You know, hope is a mistake. If you can't fix what's broken, you'll go insane.
G.H. Hardy: There are no proofs nor underlying laws that can determine the outcome of matters of the heart. Of that I'm sure.
Officer Bernard: This is gonna end bad for you.
Bryan Mills: Don't be such a pessimist. (00:44:35)
Comic: So first, we need a historical event. Who's got an event?
Ted: 9/11!
Comic: Oh oh, okay. Okay, maybe something else. Uh, let's start with a person.
John: Robin Williams!
Comic: Okay, all right. For real, guys, for real. Who's got a person?
Ted: Robin Williams on 9/11!
Comic: Alright, we've heard from these guys, uh, let's maybe give somebody else over here a chance. How about a location? Let's go with a location.
Ted: The offices of Charlie Hebdo!
Comic: Okay seriously, sir, I just need a location.
John: Ferguson, Missouri!
Ted: Germanwings cockpit!
Comic: Okay, I heard Starbucks!
Ted: No you didn't!
John: Nobody said Starbucks.
Comic: Alright, Starbucks! Okay now, who's in the Starbucks?
Ted: Bill Cosby.
Mike Conlon: They should have locked you up a long time ago. Made you pay for the things you did.
Jimmy Conlon: Just because I'm not behind bars doesn't mean I'm not paying for what I did, Michael.
Cinderella: It was my mother's old dress.
Lady Tremaine: It would be an insult to take you to the palace dressed in these old rags.
Hope: Hey - Yo. Which one of you guys want to buy me a drink?
Cute Guy at Bar: Laughs.
Hope: That's me.
Cute Guy at Bar: That's you?
Hope: Yep.
Cute Guy at Bar: You look nice.
Hope: I still, like, hardly ever get my period. So you don't gotta worry about knocking me up. You could fuck me all raw and shit.
Cute Guy at Bar: Laughs Wow. So, if we buy you a drink.
Hope: Will I let you double team me? Absolutely.
Cute Guy at Bar: Could you just leave us alone?
Napoleon Solo: He's trying. To stop. The car.
Gaby Teller: We're struggling here. Why don't you take a shot at him?
Napoleon Solo: Somehow, it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do.
Evelyn Greenslade: I don't know why I tell you anything.
Muriel Donnelly: Because I'm older and wiser.
Evelyn Greenslade: Nineteen days older.
Muriel Donnelly: That's the entire lifespan of a wasp.
Chen Lien: I'm sorry for what happened to you.
Nicholas Hathaway: Well, don't be. I'm not fishing for sympathy, here. I did the crime, I'm doing the time. Time isn't doing me.
Chen Lien: What's that mean?
Nicholas Hathaway: I do my own time, not the institution's. See, to hold on to who you are in there, you dedicate yourself to your program. You work out on your body and your mind.
Olaf: I can't read... or spell.
Hugo: Have you ever wondered what would happen, if all the geniuses, the artists, the scientists, the smartest, most creative people in the world decided to actually change it? Where, where could they even do such a thing? They'd need a place free from politics and bureaucracy, distractions, greed - a secret place where they could build whatever they were crazy enough to imagine.
Cyrus Kinnick: Guess you haven't liked Vegas much, huh?
Nick Wild: You're not supposed to like Vegas. It's just this creeping virus that people catch sometimes.
Charlotte: You know, you look much better without your clothes on. You're lucky. Not many people do.
Frank Martin: It's like the Count said to his Musketeers, I don't cling to life sufficiently to fear death.
Bianca Piper: If I wanted to go shopping, I could have done that with Jess and Casey. I need you to give me real talk.
Wesley 'Wes' Rush: You've gotta a uniboob. Your posture sucks and your clothes fit weird 'cause you wear the wrong size bra. Boom! Real talk.
Georg Elser: If humanity isn't free, everything dies with it.
David: I'm going to do it with a knife.
Short Sighted Woman: Do you want me to come with you?
David: I'd rather you didn't.
Short Sighted Woman: Don't worry. It's strange at first but then you'll get used to it. The other senses are heightened, touch for example, and hearing.
David: I know... I won't be long.
Mitchell Garabedian: If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to abuse them.