Mortdecai: Your mother and father only met once, and money changed hands. Probably less than a 20, and they say she was dressed as a man at the time.
Phil: Man loses his wife, he's a widower. Child loses a parent, they're an orphan. But losing a child... there is no word for this. And it shouldn't be.
Hank: I'm asking you to stand up, to make a decision, to change, to forgive, and to be forgiven.
Champ: Y'know how they say teenagers have no fear of death? That they're never gonna get hurt? Well not me, OK? I was born with the gift of fear.
Darnell Lewis: We do this, we do this hard!
James King: I can get hard.
Kaulder: One means nothing. Two, a coincidence. Three, trouble.
Reggie Kray: A paranoid schizophrenic walks into a bar.
Carol Aird: Harge, I want you to be happy. I didn't give you that. I failed you. We both could have given more, but... we gave each other Rindy. And that is the most breathtaking, the most generous, of gifts.
Dusty Mayron: Hey, are you Roger?
Cool Dad: Nope.
Agent Katherine Cowles: Dr. Clancy, before we go upstairs, with all due respect, I don't hold an ounce of confidence in the paranormal in general. I think it's a sham. I hope that's okay.
John Clancy: No problem at all. I feel the same about shrinks. After only one thing, your money. They'll take your whole hand.
Agent Katherine Cowles: Whoever said that has obviously never met a good one.
John Clancy: It was Sigmund Freud.
Scott Lang: Pick on someone your own size.
Christopher Marlowe: Saying things in a short snappy way instead of a long drawn-out way is the soul of wit.
Bill Shakespeare: You mean brevity?
Christopher Marlowe: Yeah.
Kyle Wincott: Nose of a dog, the heart of a marine, sounds like a hero to me.