John Matthews: I admire you so much. The stand you're taking. You didn't take the easy way out. Not setting up one of your friends. I couldn't do what you did. So it looks like you're the one teaching me what real character and integrity is all about. I love you, son.
Graciana: The sacrifices we made to send you to the worst schools, and now you tell me you like this man because he is a good person. Let's go, please.
Eva: But he looks at me with those eyes.
Miren: What eyes? Pull them out.
Dragan Ilic: Why don't you go and fuck yourself with a viking helmet?
India Stoker: What do you want from me?
Charles Stoker: To be friends.
India Stoker: We don't need to be friends. We're family.
Aunt Martha: Ray's foot's been bothering him. Ain't that right, Ray?
Uncle Ray: It's okay. Just hurts.
Dennis Spencer: Starred Up means you're leader.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Look-a-like: Hasta la vista.
Bruce Willis Look-a-like: Yippee kai yay.
Jason Statham Look-a-like: Darn it, I don't have a catch phrase.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Look-a-like: Ha ha ha ha, I have so many of them. I'll be back.
Jason Statham Look-a-like: You know what I mean Chuck?
Chuck Norris Look-a-like: No, because I'm Chuck Norris, and catch phrases need me.
Crystal: When I was pregnant with you, it was strange. You were different. They wanted me to terminate, but I wouldn't. And you're right. I don't understand you. And I never will.
Charity: Never underestimate the power of buried treasure, my friend.
Thomas Geiger: Do you want to know the real reason they first asked you to head up the Sternwood case?
Max Lewinsky: Not fucking really. Uh, my good looks? My charm?
Thomas Geiger: We hadn't been able to get anywhere near Sternwood for years. Our incompetence could be passed off as your inexperience.
Charles Dickens: A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is a profound secret and mystery to every other.
Nelly: Until that secret is given to another to look after. And then perhaps two human creatures may know each other.
Carol: I just want to give you my card. I'm not a vocal coach anymore, but I would make an exception for you because you sound like a squeaky toy. And I don't mean that in a bad way.
Lestor: See, there is a part of me that wants to put you in the trunk of my sister's Prius, drive you up to Canvey Island and bury you up to your thick fucking neck, cover your fat fucking face in hamburger patties and let the creatures of the night eat you to death while I watch.
Adam Cassidy: I feel like I lose her a little every day.
Sophina: What happened?
Jason: They fucking shot him! They shot him in the fucking back for no reason, man.
Mr. Papadopoulos: Simon, give Rudolph his arm back.