Mike: Feelings are like kids. You don't want them driving the car, but you don't want to stuff them in the trunk, either.
Tobin Frost: Time's a-wasting. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
Wendy: I just wanted the glow. The one that they promise you on the cover of those magazines. Well, I'm calling it - pregnancy sucks. Making a human being is really hard. I have no control over my body or my emotions.
Andy: Don't act like you don't like this shit.
Chris Farraday: Why, is that obvious? I know but don't tell your sister.
Steve Stifler: Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually you were. Not you.
Marcy: It just doesn't fit the HBO brand. We do violence and heartache but it's sexy. Do you understand?
Linda: Of course, what was I thinking? I mean you know what we could do? We could throw in some vampires in there to have sex with the penguins, and then you could have brooding sexy little vampire penguins. Would that work for your brand? What if the polar bears were hookers and on meth and then just show their tits for no reason? How would that work?
Marcy: I think you're joking, but if you could do that that would be very interesting for us.
Once-ler: Whoa, whoa, whoa! You wouldn't hit a woman.
The Lorax: Hoo! That's a woman?
Jerry: If you're channeling Freud, ask for my money back.
Alain van Versch: What's up, Robocop?
Stéphanie: This is a circus.
John McCain: I hate it when there's leaking and backstabbing after a campaign, let alone before it's fucking over.
Mike Martingano: I have, like, $13,000 saved.
Paige: Wow. That's a lot of ones.
Mike Martingano: There are some fives in there.
Paige: Oh, ok. No twenties?
Mike Martingano: Oh, you don't wanna know what I have to do for twenties.
Goldberg: Forget everything you know about racing. Desert-racing isn't about speed, it's about endurance and handling.
Carl Lucas: Hang on, I thought you didn't know shit about this kind of racing?
Goldberg: I don't. It's the first thing that came up on Google.
Aaron Cross: Now, I've got a plan, and it's just not that complicated. What I'm going to do is wait for the next person to show up to kill you. Maybe they can help me.
Captain James Winston: I'm retired, it's Winston now.
Dr. Julia Flynn: Retired, just like the Iowa. But sailors never really retire, now do they?
Doc: I can't do what I said I would do. Mercy is a one-saying, mercy.
Claphands: Finish this.
Charlotte Bless: I'm not gonna blow a friendship over a stupid little blowjob.
Karen Westlake: I will put you in witness protection. The feds will keep safe.
Jeremy Coleman: So my whole life just... just goes away?
Mike Cella: You get to keep your first name.
Scout Master Ward: He left me a letter of resignation. Over.
Gunner Robert Smith: I'm a man of principles. Wanna hear one?
Feldwebel Wolfgang Strunk: No.
Gunner Robert Smith: Do whatever makes you happy.
Feldwebel Wolfgang Strunk: What about responsibility?
Gunner Robert Smith: And what about the responsability of being happy?