Fozzie Bear: Wow, that was such an expensive looking explosion! I can't believe we had that in the budget.
E.B.: Hey, wait. You're not surprised I'm a talking rabbit.
David Hasselhoff: Little man, my best friend is a talking car.
Townsperson: Well, I know the Bible says Jesus turned water into wine, but it didn't say liquor store wine. It had to have been non-alcoholic wine, because it didn't have time to ferment.
Johnny English: You mean there's a mole AND a vole?
Gil: I'm having trouble because I'm a Hollywood hack who never gave real literature a shot.
Julian Goldstein: What are you afraid of?
Marley Corbett: I'm scared this entire night's gonna go by and you'll never wanna kiss me.
Mr. Popper: Hello! I have to send the penguins back.
Voice On Phone: Send-da-penguin?
Mr. Popper: Yes, send penguins.
Dave Harken: You can't win a marathon without putting some bandaids on your nipples!
Neil Patrick Harris: Look, don't be alarmed... but I'm gonna squirt some lotion on your back in about... 35 seconds.
Michael Longstreet: You're so wonderful. You're the best and the brightest.
Matt Freehauf: Guys like me are born loving women like you.
Doris: I'm unhappy.
George Valentin: So are millions of us.
Margine Frumkin: Reputations are just history in rumour form. You can change it.
Oldfield: Hey Glatt, you little fuckin' dick weed. You try any of that shit you did against Hamilton on me, I'll light your fuckin' ass up.
Doug Glatt: Hey! I'll light your ass... back up... on fire.
Malcolm: I'm not even wearing a clean pair of Granny panties.
Norah: I waited so long for this lie to come true, that I finally paid someone to tell the truth for me.
Andy Nichol: Besides, maybe he can really sing.
Norman Grunmeyer: Yeah, sure. And maybe they'll vote me king of the prom.