Smurfette: I kissed a Smurf, and liked it?
Alvin: We're alive! We're alive.
Brittany: Good, 'cause now I'm going to kill you.
Griffin Keyes: How long have you been able to talk?
Donald the Monkey: Let's see, today's Tuesday so... Always.
Madea: Sit down you black leprechaun looking like you're out of a damn box of chocolate, lucky charms.
Dwayne: Sometimes fate pulls out its big ol' cock and slaps you right in the face.
E.B.: Hey, wait. You're not surprised I'm a talking rabbit.
David Hasselhoff: Little man, my best friend is a talking car.
Johnny English: You mean there's a mole AND a vole?
Julian Goldstein: What are you afraid of?
Marley Corbett: I'm scared this entire night's gonna go by and you'll never wanna kiss me.
Dave Harken: You can't win a marathon without putting some bandaids on your nipples!
Kate Reddy: I love being a mother of a two-year old. It is like being a movie star in a world without critics.
Stan Harris: Nothing beats New York on New Years Eve.
Fozzie Bear: Wow, that was such an expensive looking explosion! I can't believe we had that in the budget.
Jesse Richter: When I'm about to kiss you, you'll know it.
Townsperson: Well, I know the Bible says Jesus turned water into wine, but it didn't say liquor store wine. It had to have been non-alcoholic wine, because it didn't have time to ferment.
Mitch Planko: This is a calendar. It has a schedule of everything you need to do everyday. It is at least 15 hours in a day. This is a grocery store. People buy food here. If you are unsure, call your wife. Always make sure you call your wife first.
Thadeous: Quests suck!