Max Jerry Horovitz: When I was young, I invented an invisible friend called Mr Ravioli. My psychiatrist says I don't need him anymore, so he just sits in the corner and reads.
Dug: My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I can talk. Squirrel!.My master is good and smart.
Carl: It's not possible!
Dug: It is, because my master is smart.
Denis Cooverman: I'm sorry I'm so pathetic.
Beth Cooper: Let me tell you something. All boys are pathetic.
Denis Cooverman: Well, then I apologize on behalf of all boys. And sorry for all the wars and stuff.
Beth Cooper: You're funny.
Deputy Winston: Wanna know what kinda pussy you gonna get for this? Oh man, you're gonna get the Sashimi.
Toby: What's that?
Deputy Winston: Man, that's the Primo Pussy, man. No smell.
Camilla: Some women, Annabelle, are born great: Cleopatra, the queen, me. Some become great, like Mother Teresa or Lady Gaga. Others have greatness thrust upon them, like Monica Lewinsky.
Rancho: These engineers are very smart sir, they didn't invent a machine which can measure the pressure on the brain. If they had, we would have come to know that this was not a suicide but a Murder.
Rev. Charlie Jackson: I talked to God a lot about you over the years. He said He broke the mold when He made you. He said you're sure entertainin' to watch, but way too much trouble.
Blanche Gunderson: And that's okay? It's okay to pull the rug out from under folks as long as it's nobody that you know? It's okay because we're just silly podunk Minnesotans, right? We talk funny and we ice-fish and we scrapbook and we drag Jesus into regular conversation. We're not cool like you, right? So we don't matter.
Art Gallery Girl: He used to say that if it wasn't for his dad he never would have become an artist. He said he would have ended up painting walls, and that dogs pee on walls.
Abby Richter: My cat stepped on the remote.
Mike: Well, be sure to thank your pussy for me.
Pug Rothbaum: I'd like everybody in the world to call me a cocksucker and give me a dollar. Because that way I'd be rich and everybody'd love me.
Meryl Morgan: You could've been killed.
Paul Morgan: I am just deeply touched that, that would have bothered you.
Oliver: Wow, from here it kinda looks like you're wearing a stryper T-shirt.
Bliss Cavendar: Stryper? Yeah, 80's christian heavy metal. I mean in the name of jesus we rock.
Philip J. Fry: Bite my shiny metal hat!
Ian: You need someone, not me. Not me in particular. She needs me, in particular.
Gavner Purl: There are no real generals left, hombre. You and I, we're the last of the Mo-Freakins.
Steve Jones: I want you to come join me in the real world.
Kate Jones: This is my real world.