Amy: I tell you the good news and spare you the bad. Isn't that what mom used to do for you when we were kids?
Sheeni Saunders: Would you mind applying this to my exposed areas? Hmmm, get turned on easily? Don't stop, Nick. It's only natural. For all the world knows, my vagina could be moist with desire as we speak.
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: Is it?
Viraj Shergill: During surgery, I want to go back to Punjab, Take me to Punjab, I want my mother, I want my lawyer, he works in a laundry.
Viraj Shergill: About to be operated on, Are you making a hole to dubai.
Tod: Mr. E, I talked to the lawyer guy upstairs and he confirmed my hunch, uh, about the whole stabbing of Mr. Whitefeather thing. It's a definite no can do from a legal standpoint.
Steve Jones: I want you to come join me in the real world.
Kate Jones: This is my real world.
Sadie - age 9: Aram! Aram.
Frank Jr. - age 7: Mom is dead.
Aram Finklestein: What?
Frank Jr. - age 7: Come on.
Aram Finklestein: She's not dead.
Sadie - age 9: Could be post-mortem twitch.
Clamper: You're illegally parked.
Orlando: Take it fucking off.
Clamper: Once it's on, man, it doesn't come off, unless you pay the fine. Then, if we've time.
Lar - clamper 2: ...which we may well not.
Clamper: Correct. May be a delay even after you pay. A day, man, could be as much as two. Do you get it?
Duncan: Looks like we've got a long night of cocaine ahead of us.
Eric: I am not a man... I am Cantona.
Suzanne: You're not gonna believe this, but Dex is here.
Maddie: What is this? The night of the ex's? Colin's here, too.
Suzanne: Where?
Maddie: Right there.
Suzanne: You know, I can sort of understand the whole bad boy thing, but what did you ever see in him?
Maddie: Oh, codependency, the whole Mother Teresa complex, believing I could change someone into something else, thinking that great love and great drama were the same thing, insecurity... Oh, and the guy can fuck.
Pug Rothbaum: I'd like everybody in the world to call me a cocksucker and give me a dollar. Because that way I'd be rich and everybody'd love me.
Lem: Lem. Llllleeeeeemmmmmm.
Charles Baker: Either your name is Lem, or you want to mate with me. Houston, we have a little problem.