Mary Horowitz: It's like taking 10 friends on a camping trip.
Viraj Shergill: During surgery, I want to go back to Punjab, Take me to Punjab, I want my mother, I want my lawyer, he works in a laundry.
Viraj Shergill: About to be operated on, Are you making a hole to dubai.
Ronnie Barnhardt: The world has no use for another scared man. Right now, the world needs a fucking hero.
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: I'm gonna wrap your legs around my head and wear you like the crown that you are.
Nick Twisp and Francois Dillinger: If that's OK with you.
Therapist: It's like a little kid gets a puppy for the first time, just hugs it so much, snaps its neck. It's puppy cradle death syndrome. All that love is gonna snap that puppy.
Vince Rizzo: Did you sleep outside last night?
Vince Jr.: No, no, no. I did heroin with a bunch of prostitutes at the Plaza Hotel. I'm thinking of becoming a pimp.
Vince Rizzo: Good. I'll see you later.
Irv: I'm not a god. That's just a rumor my mother started.
Michael McCrea: You off the drink?
Jim McCrea: Just have a yen for some java, man.
Will Burton: So, how big is this whole bandslam thing around here?
Sa5m: Texas high school football big.
Jason: She stuck a lipstick in her boob and it fell out of her pussy... Okay?
Horsedick.MPEG: When you give something to a bitch, they don't do nothin' but take. That's why I don't give 'em nothin' but the dick. 'Cause they can't take that away. You'll see. Tomorrow at the mansion I'ma run the train on seven, eight, nine, eleven o' them honeys! Ain't a Playmate there I ain't tagged yet.