Jack Sparrow: I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hand of this weirdness.
Beowulf: I am Ripper... Tearer... Slasher... Gouger. I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is Strength... and Lust... and Power! I AM beowulf.
Carter Slade: Why'd you do it? Why'd you make the deal?
Johnny Blaze: I was a kid.
Carter Slade: What'd you get in return?
Johnny Blaze: Heartache.
Fred Claus: Nick, there's been one thing that's been eating at me since I've been here. That Naughty-Nice List that you got? There's no naughty kids, Nick. They're all good kids. But some of them are scared. And some of them don't feel listened to. Some of them had some pretty tough breaks too. But every kid deserves a present on Christmas.
Dolores Umbridge: What? Do something! Tell them I mean no harm!
Harry Potter: I'm sorry Professor. I must not tell lies.
Artie: Did you say you were looking for Arthur?
Puss in Boots: That information is on a need to know basis.
Donkey: It's top secret. Hushity-hush.
Johnny Storm: Flame on!
Michelangelo: Dudes, did anyone get the license plate number of that thing that hit us last night? Man, my head.
Donatello: Okay, that was just weird, first the Foot, then that hideous monster,.
Michelangelo: Yeah, it looked like your mom, dude.
Donatello: Yeah, that would make her your mom too, dufus.
Michelangelo: Whatever.
God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?
Cris Johnson: I've seen every possible ending. None of them are good for you.
Alvin: I feel like P. Diddy with fur.
Leslie Burke: ...I check my air. I don't have as much time as I need to see everything, but that is what makes it so special.
Leon Tallis: What do you say, Cee? Does the hot weather make you behave badly? Good heavens, you're blushing.
Cecilia Tallis: Just hot in here, that's all.
Annie Newton: Nick, I wanted to do one good thing.
Nick Powell: You did, Annie. You did. You saved me. You saved me.
Max Keller: WAX lips? I love wax lips! I have to have wax lips.
Noah Wilder: You don't need that much sugar, dad.
Pat Garret: Newton, life is like a penis. When it's hard you get screwed. When it's soft you can't beat it.
Insane-O-Flex: I like your booty, but I'm not gay.