Gray: I love natural disasters. I want people to die in them. I am genuinely disappointed when the death toll is low.
Mikal: Where are you going?
Eugene: East-ish.
Mikal: East-ish?
Olive: Do you think there's a Heaven?
Frank: Well, it's hard to say, Olive. I don't think anyone knows for sure.
Olive: I know, but what do you think?
Frank: Well... um... uh.
Olive: I think there is.
Frank: Think I'll get in?
Olive: Yeah.
Frank: Promise?
Olive: Yeah.
Boatyard Woman: Guys who drink Kahlua and cream are not power guys, honey.
Joe: What happened to the blowtorch, Plug?
Plug: My dad just laughed at me.
[Finds Barbie at a yard sale.]
Borat: Is this the owner of the house? Did you shrink her? Please Gypsy lady don't shrink me, I just want your tears.
Oliver: This isn't a war. This is like humans fighting maggots. Or dragons fighting wolves. Or humans on dragons throwing wolves at maggots.
Tia Hall: Honey, the girls are having a great time showing everybody the lights. I pray to God that's the only thing they're showing.
Mable 'Madea' Simmons: Aunt Ruby's 96 years old, she needs to see her family.
Nacho: I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
Mel: And try to keep it under a billion, it's all I've got...on me.
Whitey: So you're from up top, eh? I used to work in a laboratory up top. Yeah, big shampoo job. I was dark grey when we started. Still, it cleared up me dandruff.
Dakin: What happened with Hector? On the bike?
Scripps: As per. Except I managed to get my bag down. I think he thought he'd got me going. In fact it was my Tudor Economic Documents, Volume 2.
Dorothea: You know, if we put all of our euros together, we might be able to afford 10% of this stuff.
Galleria: Look, 50% off.
Aqua: Ooh, where?
Galleria: Y'all are some sad, sick people.
Aqua: Don't tease us like that.
Ben Willis: Crush. It's funny how the same word for the feeling of disappointment can be used for the feeling of attraction. The Oxford English Dictionary states one of the meanings for the word crushed as "a strong and unreasoning, but transitory attachment."
KG: Go ahead and sleep on the power couch. Your training begins tomorrow, at the crack of noon.
John Lyshitski: Under all the swastikas, he's a real prick.
Woody: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and... temperate. Rough winds... blah blah blah... There's something in there I can't remember. And, uh... yadda yadda yadda. I'm sorry, I... I'm no Shakespeare. My guess, Romeo wasn't much of a quarterback either, right?