Mikal: Where are you going?
Eugene: East-ish.
Mikal: East-ish?
Nacho: I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
Ben Willis: I've always wanted to be a painter, maybe have my work hung in a gallery one day.
Sharon Pintey: I've always wanted to meet a painter.
Ben Willis: Why?
Sharon Pintey: I think it might have something to do with their ability to see beauty in everything.
Whitey: So you're from up top, eh? I used to work in a laboratory up top. Yeah, big shampoo job. I was dark grey when we started. Still, it cleared up me dandruff.
Boatyard Woman: Guys who drink Kahlua and cream are not power guys, honey.
John Lyshitski: Under all the swastikas, he's a real prick.
[Finds Barbie at a yard sale.]
Borat: Is this the owner of the house? Did you shrink her? Please Gypsy lady don't shrink me, I just want your tears.
Dusty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.
Jessica Wilhern: Penelope, just one man, one man.
Penelope: And he'll run too! They always run. Why can't you accept that? For seven years I've been watching them run. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Do you?
Jessica Wilhern: I'm sorry, but we just can't quit.
Penelope: We can, because no matter how much I want to believe there's one man who won't run away, one man who... who.
Garfield: It's good to be king.
Oliver: This isn't a war. This is like humans fighting maggots. Or dragons fighting wolves. Or humans on dragons throwing wolves at maggots.
Pipp Everett: Provost, he has knocked that woman out with his schlong!
Dakin: What happened with Hector? On the bike?
Scripps: As per. Except I managed to get my bag down. I think he thought he'd got me going. In fact it was my Tudor Economic Documents, Volume 2.
Courtney Callum: I am not happy right now.
Woody: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and... temperate. Rough winds... blah blah blah... There's something in there I can't remember. And, uh... yadda yadda yadda. I'm sorry, I... I'm no Shakespeare. My guess, Romeo wasn't much of a quarterback either, right?
Grandpa: A real loser is someone who's so afraid of not winning he doesn't even try.
Cassie Munro: Mom, some idiot just parked this ugly RV outside our house.
Jamie Munro: What?
Cassie Munro: Oh, my God, it's your husband.
Steve-O: All right cast me out, goddammit.