Burt Holloway: You are the child of god's holy gift of life. You come from me. But you are not me. Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.
Lee Holloway: [Smiles.] Thank you Daddy.
Ricky: We don't need reparations! We need restraint.
Billy: "Restraint"?
Ricky: "Restraint"! Some discipline! Don't go out and buy a Range Rover when you livin' with your mama! And pay your mama some rent! And can we please, please, please try and teach our kids something other than the "Chronic" album? And please, Black people, try and be on time for something other than free before eleven at the club.
Reed Thimple: Do you like the sound of crunching wood? I do.
Bruce: I hope you realize you've just committed assault.
Henry Desalvo: I know, I know. Time was, you actually had to hit somebody.
Dr. Ben Sobel: I am grieving. It's a process.
Adina: I have a FAT ass.
Lanie: I met a homeless guy and he had a vision.
Cal: What like Espn?
Lanie: No, he had ESP! There's no N.
Ali G: Sorry I iz late, bu dere was a documentry on about monkeys.
Tracey Reynolds: Calvin, I think you should stick to basketball. You know why? You can't rap.
Justine: Oh, who gives a shit! Who needs a fucken baby anyway, you wanna make your self useful around here, why don't you get that goddamn TV fixed?
Phil Last: What the hell?
Justine: It sounds like a helicopter is landing in here.
Milan: One guy can't take two on, except in the movies.
Ben Carpenter: C'mon, you mother. Come to papa.
Bunny: Igby, I could just eat you with a spoon.
Igby: Don't.
Gerald: Do these belts come in any other color?
Bridget: Black or pink?
Gerald: Uh, we'll take black.
Freddie: Barry! You fuckin' ponce! You think you can just smash my machines?
Barry Ryan: Freddy, you fuckin' ferret. I jus' did, didn' I?
Dave: Your mama's got no teeth and that's perfect for her line of work.
Rachel: I'm with B.N.S.
Kelly Robinson: Yeah, what's B.N.S. stand for? Bitch that Needs some Slapping?
Lara: You really think I'm skinny? Wait - anorexic skinny or bulimic skinny?