Best comedy movie quotes of 2002

Lanie: I met a homeless guy and he had a vision.
Cal: What like Espn?
Lanie: No, he had ESP! There's no N.

Eleanor Duvall: They were giving out free lobster bibs in the bathroom.
Whitey: That's not a lobster bib Eleanore its a germ protector for your tushey.

Bruce: I hope you realize you've just committed assault.
Henry Desalvo: I know, I know. Time was, you actually had to hit somebody.

Tower Control: 8-6-7-2-4-1-Queen, move it! Or you're going to be the hood ornament on a 737.

Adina: I have a FAT ass.

Frankie Delano: You ever read this book?
Bruno: Have I ever read that book? Not only does that insult my intelligence but it insults my ignorance. Why would a man like me, who happens to like himself, be caught dead reading a bit of boy toy fluff like that?
Frankie Delano: Because it's a killer.

Scooby Doo: Raggy, you're rhipped.
Shaggy: I'm whipped? why don't you say that to my face, man?
Scooby Doo: Rokay, I rill! Your rother eats rat roop.
Shaggy: No, Scooby-Doo! your mom eats cat poop.

Eddie Griffin: You know, high school's a lot like prison. Bad food, high fences. The sex you want you ain't gettin', and the sex you getting you don't want.

Ali G: Sorry I iz late, bu dere was a documentry on about monkeys.

Tracey Reynolds: Calvin, I think you should stick to basketball. You know why? You can't rap.

Gerald: Do these belts come in any other color?
Bridget: Black or pink?
Gerald: Uh, we'll take black.

Buttercup: Get your hands off him, you darn dirty ape.

Eleanor Duvall: Hey, look! He already stole something.
Davey: It's a letter from my parents.
Eleanor Duvall: Well why don't you go live them?
Davey: They died.
Eleanor Duvall: My bad.

Steve Irwin: Didja see that?

Eddie: This is football we're talking about here, which you call bananas and you're reluctant to play it. But you play baseball, the World Series. You've won every year, America's won every year in that. Well done America.

Dave: Your mama's got no teeth and that's perfect for her line of work.

Harlan: That's the one who busted up my trailer.
Chris McCormick: Shh.
Harlan: I bet you he's their leader.

Nadine: I read somewhere once that everything in life happens in threes. And that there are two kinds of people, the ones that think three's the charm and the ones that think in three strikes you're out.

Alan A. Allen: I am an inventor, Patrick. An inventor of machines.

Justine: Gwen says smoking marijuana lowers your sperm.
Phil Last: Lowers it to where?
Justine: Maybe you're the infertile one around here. Maybe every time you smoke a little doobie, you're killing our unborn children.