Catherine: Suzon, I forgot one thing. I heard a strange sound. I looked through Augustine's keyhole, and I saw her standing at the mirror with something shiny. I thought nothing of it, but now I'm sure she was sharpening a knife.
Augustine: You liar! I was holding my mother-of-pearl comb and cleaning it.
Gaby: At 3:00 am?
Augustine: Combs never sleep.
Ricky: We don't need reparations! We need restraint.
Billy: "Restraint"?
Ricky: "Restraint"! Some discipline! Don't go out and buy a Range Rover when you livin' with your mama! And pay your mama some rent! And can we please, please, please try and teach our kids something other than the "Chronic" album? And please, Black people, try and be on time for something other than free before eleven at the club.
Charlie Kaufman: To begin... To begin... How to start? I'm hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. Okay, so I need to establish the themes. Maybe a banana-nut. That's a good muffin.
Lady Bracknell: Well, I must say, Algy, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or die. This shilly-shallying with the question is absurd.
Burt Holloway: You are the child of god's holy gift of life. You come from me. But you are not me. Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.
Lee Holloway: [Smiles.] Thank you Daddy.
Helen Wade: Would you like anything?
George Wade: I'd love some Milk Duds.
Helen Wade: We don't have any, I could send out for one.
George Wade: Oh, no, don't be ridiculous. If you're going to send out, get a whole box.
Reed Thimple: Do you like the sound of crunching wood? I do.
Bruce: I hope you realize you've just committed assault.
Henry Desalvo: I know, I know. Time was, you actually had to hit somebody.
Dr. Ben Sobel: I am grieving. It's a process.
Adina: I have a FAT ass.
Lanie: I met a homeless guy and he had a vision.
Cal: What like Espn?
Lanie: No, he had ESP! There's no N.
Jonah: Something touched me.
Conspiracy Brother: Jesus Christ: black man. Babe Ruth: black man. Madonna: ... slept with black men.
Eleanor Duvall: They were giving out free lobster bibs in the bathroom.
Whitey: That's not a lobster bib Eleanore its a germ protector for your tushey.
Tower Control: 8-6-7-2-4-1-Queen, move it! Or you're going to be the hood ornament on a 737.
Frankie Delano: You ever read this book?
Bruno: Have I ever read that book? Not only does that insult my intelligence but it insults my ignorance. Why would a man like me, who happens to like himself, be caught dead reading a bit of boy toy fluff like that?
Frankie Delano: Because it's a killer.
Eddie Griffin: You know, high school's a lot like prison. Bad food, high fences. The sex you want you ain't gettin', and the sex you getting you don't want.
Agent Jay: Could I have your attention, please? [Neuralyzes the crowd.] Thank you for participating in our drill. Had this been an actual emergency, y'all would have been *eaten*. 'Cause you don't listen! You're ignorant! How's a man gonna come crashin' through the back of a subway win - that's the problem with all y'all New Yorkers!"Oh no, we've seen it all!" "Oh no, a 600 foot worm, save us Mr. Black man!" I ask you nicely to move forward to the next car, y'all just sit there like... [Neuralyzes the crowd again.] The City of New York would like to thank you for participating in our drill. Hopefully you enjoyed our smaller, more energy-efficient subway cars. Watch your step, you all have a nice evening.
Marty Wolf: First lesson in Hollywood, sweetheart: Always get it in writing.
Snowbell: You've got guts, kid! And you've got spunk! Not to mention moxy! You've got guts, spunk, and moxy.