Marty Wolf: First lesson in Hollywood, sweetheart: Always get it in writing.
Undercover Brother: You mess with the 'fro, you got to go.
Van Wilder: I know Ms Pacman is special. She's cute...she's fun...she swallows.
Agent K: Is that standard?
Agent J: No it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.
Numérobis: Raté, vous nous avez raté! Eh les romains, vous êtes des romaines .
Jonah: Something touched me.
Jake: Just how I like 'em... all big and big-like.
Snowbell: You've got guts, kid! And you've got spunk! Not to mention moxy! You've got guts, spunk, and moxy.
Lorne Daniels: Nobody wants you, not even the Clippers.
Pistachio Disguisey: Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club. Turtle, turtle, turtle.
Ricky: We don't need reparations! We need restraint.
Billy: "Restraint"?
Ricky: "Restraint"! Some discipline! Don't go out and buy a Range Rover when you livin' with your mama! And pay your mama some rent! And can we please, please, please try and teach our kids something other than the "Chronic" album? And please, Black people, try and be on time for something other than free before eleven at the club.
Catherine: Suzon, I forgot one thing. I heard a strange sound. I looked through Augustine's keyhole, and I saw her standing at the mirror with something shiny. I thought nothing of it, but now I'm sure she was sharpening a knife.
Augustine: You liar! I was holding my mother-of-pearl comb and cleaning it.
Gaby: At 3:00 am?
Augustine: Combs never sleep.
Lady Bracknell: Well, I must say, Algy, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or die. This shilly-shallying with the question is absurd.
Charlie Kaufman: To begin... To begin... How to start? I'm hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. Okay, so I need to establish the themes. Maybe a banana-nut. That's a good muffin.
Helen Wade: Would you like anything?
George Wade: I'd love some Milk Duds.
Helen Wade: We don't have any, I could send out for one.
George Wade: Oh, no, don't be ridiculous. If you're going to send out, get a whole box.
Burt Holloway: You are the child of god's holy gift of life. You come from me. But you are not me. Your soul and your body are your own, and yours to do with as you wish.
Lee Holloway: [Smiles.] Thank you Daddy.
Reed Thimple: Do you like the sound of crunching wood? I do.
Dr. Ben Sobel: I am grieving. It's a process.
Lanie: I met a homeless guy and he had a vision.
Cal: What like Espn?
Lanie: No, he had ESP! There's no N.