Alan A. Allen: I am an inventor, Patrick. An inventor of machines.
Trailer Trash Thumb: A lot of kids were disappearing in the woods, all mysterious like. And people thought it might be... David Copperfield. In a stage show, he took a llama and put it in a box. He closed the box and spinned it around. He opened up the box. There's no llama! And you don't see that every day, there's a llama here, llama gone. Llama, no llama. Just chills you to the bones.
Barry: It really looks like Hawaii here.
Randolph Grady: You know, I could help you study.
Starla Grady: Yeah and what's the catch?
Randolph Grady: No catch, you just gotta be nice to me for the rest of my life.
Starla Grady: Ha! I should have known you'd exploit this for emotional blackmail. That's just mean you... user.
Catherine: Oh, eww, this arugal is so bitter! It'l like my algebra teacher on my bread.
Tim: Are you with me here, altar boy?
Nadine: I read somewhere once that everything in life happens in threes. And that there are two kinds of people, the ones that think three's the charm and the ones that think in three strikes you're out.
Bud Brumder: If you do this I will eat your face.
Marv Merchants: Well, prison isn't so bad. We do get salisbury steak on Wednesdays.
Game Show Host: And how about you, Bachelor #3? What's the most unusual place that you ever made love?
Bachelor #3: Inside a woman.
Carla: My client would like to point out that it's just paint - it'll wash out.
Brad Rigby: This concludes the proceedings. Deliberations will begin immediately.
Eddie: They're not very good at naming Popes as well. They had a run of Piuses, it went like Hollywood, they had Pope Pius the first, the second, Pope Pius the third "The revenge of Pope Pius." Pope Pius the fourth, "This time he's pissed off." Pope Pius the fifth in 3D.
Bagel Guy: Yeah. Fire in the hole.
Joe Snow: If I lived to be 102, I would never forget the time the Muppets almost missed Christmas, it was a.
Muppet Director: Hey, hold it! Cut! What are you doing here?
Joe Snow: Why, I'm Joe Snow, your admirable, good natured narrator.
Muppet Director: Snowman narrator? There ain't nothin' in here that says anything about a snowman narrator. Get out of here, you Burl Ives wannabe.
Ray Harris: It's only been three white geniuses ever: Da Vinci, Stallone in the first Rocky, and now you, Tony.
Randolph: First he takes my career, then my life, now my girl. The balls on that fuchsia fuck! I'm gonna tear him apart, piece by piece.
Pally LaMarr: Race its fucking feet off...! I want you to show those bastards who's who.
Suzette: Ever heard of Frank Zappa?
Harry: Sure. The Mothers of Invention.
Suzette: Wow. Very good Harry. Well, he named us. The Banger Sisters.
Harry: But you weren't really sisters.
Suzette: No.
Harry: Good 'cause I wouldn't have been comfortable if you were sisters.
Suzette: You're not comfortable now, Harry.