Carter: Now gimme a hundred-thousand in chips, and a diet pepsi and some hot wings!
Gwen: Everyone hates me, everyone wants a piece of me. My therapist is out of the country, I wasn't nominated for a Golden Globe this year! Leave me alone.
Spike: He was just all alone. He couldn't enjoy a game with anyone else. Like living in a dream... That's the kind of man he was.
Mama: That man looks like that Santa from years ago... no, can't be...No more eggnog for me.
Gord Brody: I hope I get a jobby, Freddy. I've got my fingers crossed... crossed... crossed... crossed... cross... ed.
Stu Miley: Excuse me kitty. I'll be right back after I choke my monkey.
Ricky Slade: We don't wanna talk, we wanna scream at people, but we don't wanna listen or problem solve and that's what's frustrating about the fucking dynamic of the group.
Alexander Cabot: You know what? I still don't understand why you're here.
Alexandra Cabot: I'm here because I was in the comic book.
Alexander Cabot: What?
Alexandra Cabot: Nothing.
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: I bought it from a lawyer who went bankrupt.
Napoleon Bonaparte: Well, that's something. I didn't know that was possible.
Helen: Some people smoke pot, some people bungee jump, some people chant. What do you do to be happy?
Jessica: Nothing. I'm not.
Randy: There's the ten-thousand dollars... well, aren't you gonna count it?
Mr. Burmeister: Nah.
Randy: You trust me?
Mr. Burmeister: No, but I kill people.
Beryl Mason: I think of sex as a language and I'm fluent in it. You? Well, for you it's... a second language.
Meg Harper: You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
Joe: It sounds pretty self-explanatory.
Neighbor: Hey, shutup down there.
Gordon: I'm covered in ca-ca.
Jane Livingstone: Neutrality does not exist in the face of murder. Doing nothing to stop it is, in fact, choosing. It is not being neutral.
Kiyoshi Yamazaki: This isn't a mystery of life! It's a shit.
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Ryan: No.
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it.
Mary: Oh my God, you castrated him.
Lance Barton: I got roaches. Who here got roaches?
Man in Audience: Everybody got roaches, man. It's Harlem.
Felix Woods: Hey grabby hands, step away from the sister.