Carter: Now gimme a hundred-thousand in chips, and a diet pepsi and some hot wings!
Monkeybone: No I wasn't in a coma! Alright I was in a coma but it wasn't like I was in A coma and goofing off, I was thinking up hilarious new bits the whole time.
Mikey Dundee: Do people like rats here?
Lee: Why am I here? I'm just confused. I mean, after all, you did fire me last week, so why am I here?
Dave: I brought you here to see the new Hal Weidmann film.
Napoleon Bonaparte: Six years of English cooking... six years of staring at these dreary walls... and at your gloomy face. You're quite ugly, did you know that? I haven't had the heart to tell you.
Louis Marchand: Yes, sire.
Maurice 'Momo': We were here in the 80's to watch the Russians. I can't tell you the trouble we made.
Hubert Fiorentini: That's right you can't, now try to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes.
Jim: Get out of the toilet.
Beryl Mason: I was with Freddie because I was in a blackout. What's your excuse?
Mama: That man looks like that Santa from years ago... no, can't be...No more eggnog for me.
Josie McCoy: Oh my god. I'm a trend pimp.
Randy: There's the ten-thousand dollars... well, aren't you gonna count it?
Mr. Burmeister: Nah.
Randy: You trust me?
Mr. Burmeister: No, but I kill people.
Ricky Slade: We don't wanna talk, we wanna scream at people, but we don't wanna listen or problem solve and that's what's frustrating about the fucking dynamic of the group.
Kelly: Are you crying?
Berke Landers: No, you're squeezing my puncture wound.
Neighbor: Hey, shutup down there.
Gordon: I'm covered in ca-ca.
Helen: Some people smoke pot, some people bungee jump, some people chant. What do you do to be happy?
Jessica: Nothing. I'm not.
Daryl Chase: Man if you keep campaigning for an ass whuppin', you gonna get elected.
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Ryan: No.
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it.
Meg Harper: You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
Joe: It sounds pretty self-explanatory.
Eddie: Never underestimate casual sex Jane, it can be very liberating.
Jane Livingstone: Neutrality does not exist in the face of murder. Doing nothing to stop it is, in fact, choosing. It is not being neutral.