Brian Slade: Ha! Nothing makes one so vain as being told one is a sinner.
Sam: Kelly Van Ryan is accusing me of rape.
Kenneth Bowden: Kelly Van Ryan? As in Sandra Van Ryan?
Sam: As in, I'm fucked.
Isadora: If you ever miss me, take a look at our little portrait. I say this because I fear that you'll forget me as well. I miss my father. I miss everything. Dora.
Helen Jordan: I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you.
Joy Jordan: But I'm not laughing.
Mari Hoff: Ah, your not the famous phone bill, are ya?
Alex: I want to thank you for your time, Miss Alexander. You are a lovely young woman. And if I was thirty younger, and you were a little blind in one eye, what a wonderful life we could have together.
Max Fischer: Thay are going to cancel Latin. They've got to make room for Japanese.
Rosemary Cross: Well that's a shame because all the Romance languages are based on Latin.
Max Fischer: Yeah, they are, aren't they.
Rosemary Cross: Nihilo sanctum estne?
Max Fischer: What's that? Oh, it's Latin. What does that mean?
Rosemary Cross: Is nothing sacred?
Casey Wells: You know what they did in Ancient Rome when a visitor violated somebody's hospitality? They cut off his dick and they nailed it to the fucking gate!
Dock Newton: You ain't any less of a drunk now than you was when hooch was legal.
Jess Newton: Well, you see, there's my point. That particular law ain't really doin' it's job, now is it?
Charles Morritz: What do you do when the thing you most wanted, so perfect, just comes?
Gov. Jack Stanton: I'm going to tell you something really outrageous. I'm going to tell you the truth.
Kurt Dussander: Boy, be careful. You play with fire.
Jimmy: That's like something out of the Nazis.
Guido Rosetti: I don't want to fight you.
Rolf Bruner: Yeah? But I do.
Hilary: If you think being an ordinary person is any easier than being an extraordinary one, you're wrong.
Patrick Wheeler: What I do find pathetic is people who, as soon as they hear that the world is ending, they rush out and try to hook up with someone like it was closing time at Studio 54.
Steve Rubell: Prison can be so fucking dull at night.
Narrator: Do you know where you are?
Mohammed Ali Jinnah: I believe I have some idea.
Sen. Jay Billington Bulworth: Miss, you be really honest with me and don't spare my feelings... do you have any more of the little crispy crab cakes?
Jake Shuttlesworth: I want you to go to Big State, Son.
Jesus Shuttlesworth: Aw, Man, you just like everybody else.
Jake Shuttlesworth: No I'm not like everyone else, Son. Everyone else ain't your father.