Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their "best"! Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.
John Mason: Really?
[Goodpseed cocks his gun.]
Stanley Goodspeed: Yeah.
Dusty: He's gonna rue the day he came up against The Extreme, baby. Bill, I'm talkin' imminent rueage.
Russell Casse: Hello boys! I'm baaack!
Archie Moses: This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns.
Rat: I hope there's a good movie on this flight.
Captain Fredricks: What part of "no" don't you understand, Strode? The "N" or the "O"?
Vic Deakins: Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons?
Seth: I may be an asshole, but I'm not a fucking asshole.
William Riker: Someone once said, "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgment."
Zefram Cochrane: That's rhetorical nonsense! Who said that?
William Riker: You did! Ten years from now.
Ashe: Do you know what they call a gathering of crows, Curve? A murder. A murder of crows. Think about it.
Samantha: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Hennessey: I hope not, coz I'm thinking about how much my balls hurt.
Mrs. Madigan: Every Monday, you will have a practice quiz. Every Wednesday, you will have a real quiz. Every Friday, you will have an exam. And any time I feel like it, you will have a surprise quiz or exam.
Tony Two Toes: We're from the local 129th, sonny.
Mikey: We heard you was loading a ship without the assistance of bonefide union labor. Say it ain't so.
Giant Santa: I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.
Lt. Jack Cole: Listen, um, I want you to deliver a message for me. You tell your asshole boss that nobody, nobody threatens me.
Donald Cunningham: I understand. I'll convey your feelings to Mr. Deverell.
Lt. Jack Cole: Now get your ugly white ass outta here and don't come back.
Louis: Men love to hate. It's what separates us from the females of the spieces. It's the natural law in Wild America.
Narrator: Remember this... even the most impossible parts of this story really happened.
Einon: The peasants are revolting!
Brok: The peasants have always been revolting, my Prince, but now they are rebelling.
Ethan Hunt: Can I ask you something, Kittridge? If you're dealing with a man who has crushed, shot, stabbed, and detonated five members of his own IMF team, how devastated do you think you're gonna make him by hauling Mom and Uncle Donald down to the county courthouse?