Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their "best"! Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.
John Mason: Really?
[Goodpseed cocks his gun.]
Stanley Goodspeed: Yeah.
Dusty: He's gonna rue the day he came up against The Extreme, baby. Bill, I'm talkin' imminent rueage.
Russell Casse: Hello boys! I'm baaack!
Archie: Oh you see that, he's licking me. He loves me.
Keats: No, he just finished licking his balls and now he wants to get that nasty taste out of his mouth.
Vic Deakins: Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons?
Rat: I hope there's a good movie on this flight.
Captain Fredricks: What part of "no" don't you understand, Strode? The "N" or the "O"?
Seth: I may be an asshole, but I'm not a fucking asshole.
William Riker: Someone once said, "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgment."
Zefram Cochrane: That's rhetorical nonsense! Who said that?
William Riker: You did! Ten years from now.
Ashe: Do you know what they call a gathering of crows, Curve? A murder. A murder of crows. Think about it.
Samantha: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Hennessey: I hope not, coz I'm thinking about how much my balls hurt.
Mrs. Madigan: Every Monday, you will have a practice quiz. Every Wednesday, you will have a real quiz. Every Friday, you will have an exam. And any time I feel like it, you will have a surprise quiz or exam.
Taffy Dale: Guess it wasn't the dove.
Tony Two Toes: We're from the local 129th, sonny.
Mikey: We heard you was loading a ship without the assistance of bonefide union labor. Say it ain't so.
Giant Santa: I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.
Lt. Jack Cole: Listen, um, I want you to deliver a message for me. You tell your asshole boss that nobody, nobody threatens me.
Donald Cunningham: I understand. I'll convey your feelings to Mr. Deverell.
Lt. Jack Cole: Now get your ugly white ass outta here and don't come back.
Louis: Men love to hate. It's what separates us from the females of the spieces. It's the natural law in Wild America.
Narrator: Remember this... even the most impossible parts of this story really happened.
Einon: The peasants are revolting!
Brok: The peasants have always been revolting, my Prince, but now they are rebelling.