Dwight Ingalls: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Coach Harris: Fuck you too.
Dwight Ingalls: You can't talk to students like that.
Coach Harris: Fuck you! Now suit up.
Arnie Fromson: You can't do this. You can't abuse yourself.
John Belushi: Look, I don't pay you to be my best friend. I don't ask you what you do after six o'clock, don't ASK ME! nobody tells ME what to DO.
Arnie Fromson: You can't tell me what to do with you either. I'm not talking about business now, John. I'm talking about your life.
Felix Leiter: Where's my wife?
Dario: Don't worry. We gave her a nice Honeymooooon.
Garfield: Why someone would murder a 23-year-old college professor was beyond me. Maybe he delivered just one too many lectures on the Boxer Rebellion. Stranger things have happened in this town.
Marylou Summers: The Devil was a werewolf... Wow, that's incredible.
Bill Smith: The first rule is: Never sleep with anyone who's crazier than you are. I don't know if you're crazier, but you're right up there on the top 10 of my weird list, lady.
Louise Baltimore: If you knew me better, I'd be number one.
Snyder: I did everything by the book, I followed my orders.
Dr. Diane Norris: Get my kit.
Daisy Werthan: It's 7:16.
Boolie Werthan: You should have a job on the radio announcing the time.
Putnam: All right, I'm looking for a couple of kids. This one's a mental case, have you seen them?
Pinball Teen: Does he dress like you?
Putnam: No.
Pinball Teen: Then he can't be too much of a case, all right?
Kate: Are you going to walk me home? Or should I just get murdered on my own?
Mary Fisher: What's the matter with your clothes?
Nicolette: You did the laundry.
Col. Jason Grant: Oh, Christ. That's what we are - spare parts.
Alexandra Page: I didn't even read the questions, I just took a number 2 pencil and filled in the bubbles as fast as I could.
Christopher Wooden: What did you put for sex?
Alexandra Page: Occasionally.
Koster: Alright you bunch of pussies! I'm back and I'm kicking ass.
Capt. Hill: You couldn't let it rest, could you? You had to push it?
Eriksson: Go to hell. SIR.
Dr. Rachel Woodruff: And now, now I just wonder about some of these brilliant doctors of mine, you know, with their minds for medicine and their hearts for, what, real estate. You know, I wonder what they'd say to some lonely terrified patient, who grabs their hand and says, "Can you explain this to me? Can you help me accept this? Can you at least sit with me so I don't feel so alone?" Well, I bet they don't say anything because I didn't teach them to.
Eugene Hunt: Death is the best kick of all. That's why they save it for last.
Mikey: So how many cases can we get?
Spitz: Three cases. Any more and I think old Mr. Casy would-ah-know something's up, but we gotta get going, shift changes pretty soon. You gonna pull around back or should we both get busted out front?
Hughie Warriner: Don't you believe me?
Det. Sherman: Think you could go for a babe with a dick?
Det. Frank Keller: Depends on her personality, really.