Lawrence Isabella: I've heard a lot about you.
Joey Rosselini: Yeah? Good things, I hope.
Freddy Krueger: It's a boy.
Jerry Lee: England can kiss my ass.
Alex Whitaker: I had this dream and I came here to make sure it didn't come true.
Dooley: Alright, let's get one thing straight: The woman is mine! Now we're both members of the animal kingdom. You know that and I know that. And we both know that this thing is really primal. So if you think you're such a badass you just try that one more time and you're gonna end up in a pet cemetary! You remember the movie Old Yeller? You remember when they shot him in the end? I didn't cry! Now come on.
Rhet: A roger, a love wand, joy stick, dong, zipper lizard, tally whacker, trouser snake, schlong.
Gabriel Cash: I don't know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R.
Ray Tango: What's F.U.B.A.R.?
Gabriel Cash: Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition.
Agnes Carpenter: Karen, you're not eating. You look too thin, if you ask me.
Karen Carpenter: Mother, how can anybody be too thin?
George Newman: Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs... All next week on Town Talk.
Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: I tell you rest on need-to-know basis
Detective Tony Costas: Need to know? I tell you what I need to know, I need to know why I shouldn't put my foot up your ass!
Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: Reason very simple. Most uncomfortable position for both parties. (00:42:15)
Security Officer: Hot enough for ya, Larry?
Larry Wilson: No, Harris! Why don't you turn up the heat?
Security Officer: OK, I'll tell the engineer.
Jim Court: You're not a permanent part of her life. You're a distraction.
Lloyd Dobler: I'm the distraction that's going with her to England, sir.
Captain Meissner: Convict... two things. One - I am Meissner. Two - Never fuck with Meissner. Inside.
Rick: Jesus, Bob, you never told us anything about not mentioning dogs.
Bob: The reason nobody mentioned dogs, Rick, is that to mention the dog would have been a hex in itself.
Rick: All right, well, now we are on the subject, are there an other stupid things we aren't supposed to mention that will affect our future?
Phyllis: This dance is called "The Freddie." I know, I know. Life is so ironic.
Willy: Go to hell.
Fender Tremolo: Been there.
Da Mayor: Doctor, those that'll tell don't know, and those that know won't tell.
Billy Devereaux: I get the window seat! You don't need it, you're blind.
Nick Parker: Got me there, you little prick.
Mae Thompson: How did this happen?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Let me handle this. How did this happen?