Marquise de Merteuil: When one woman strikes at the heart of another she seldom misses, and the wound is invariably fatal.
Sharkey: What the fuck is this?
Frank McBain: Your worst nightmare, Butt-horn.
Vermeer: What do you think she meant when she said a huge black monster with giant claws?
Eric Visser: I don't know, but I hope your mother-in-law has an alibi.
Vermeer: UGH.
Smiley: Fuck you Perry.
Perry: That's right Smiley, "fuck you" covers just about everything.
Tracy: When we get out of here, Joel's going to be carrying his balls home in a knapsack.
Chris: Remind me never to piss you off, Tracy.
Vance: We do not want to end up with a low potassium level.
Pee-wee: Duh, Vance! You'd think I never went to agricultural junior college.
Tatsuo Kusakabe: Trees and people used to be good friends. I saw that tree and decided to buy the house. Hope Mom likes it too. Okay, let's pay our respects then get home for lunch.
Tangina: My God! he found heR.
Tara: They are gardeners and carpenters, they are not tomato men.
Janis Zuckerman: I'm looking for a guy named Louie, fuzzy hair, crooked teeth, bug eyes. Has he been around lately?
Girl Punk: Suck shit through a tube.
The Tall Man: You think that when you die, you go to Heaven. You come to us.