Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Cledus Snow: You can't drive a fork lift.
Bandit: I can drive any forkin' thing around.
Paula McFadden: I thought you said you were decent.
Elliot Garfield: I am decent. I also happen to be naked.
[Dr. Terminus has just learned of Elliot's existence.]
Dr. Terminus: Do you think this kid Pete would sell it?
Hoagy: Money talks.
Dr. Terminus: First there's a dragon. Now he tells me money talks. Will miracles never cease?
Jerry Landers: How can you permit all the *suffering* that goes on in the world?
God: Ah, how can *I* permit the suffering?
Jerry Landers: Yeah!
God: I don't permit the suffering. You do! Free will. All the choices are yours.
Jerry Landers: Choices? What choices?
God: You can love each other, cherish and nurture each other or you can kill each other. Incidentally, "kill" is the word. It's not "waste." If I meant "waste" I would have written "thou shalt not waste." You're doing some very funny things with words, here. You're also turning the sky into mud. I look down, I can't believe the filth. Using the rivers for toilets, poisoning my fishes. You want a miracle? *You* make a fish from scratch. You can't. You think only God can make a tree? Try coming up with a mackerel. And when the last one is gone, that'll be that. Eighty-six on the fishes, goodbye sky, so long world, over and out.
Gen. Douglas MacArthur: The days of the frontal attack are over. Only a mediocre commander would use it. Your good commanders do not turn in heavy losses.
Connie: Are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?
Captain Stransky: A world without women. It's an old theory of mine. Men can get along without women easily. Easily. I tell you a man's true destiny is not just breeding children, all this childbirth and chocolate, but to be free. To rule and to fight. In other words: to lead a man's existence. Women are no more than a nuisance. Sometimes necessary.
Newscaster: The popcorn you are eating has been pissed in. Film at eleven.
Winnie the Pooh: Could you ssspare a sssmall sssmackerel?
Gopher: Say, you ought to do sssomething about that ssspeech impediment, sssonny.
Chow Lu Fung: I made a vow not to kill... but it seems I must.
Charles Brubaker: We... are dead. We are dead.
Lt. Col Peter Willis: Shit. I was such a terrific guy.
McGrath: Good crowd out there tonight, boys, let's really try to win this one.
Ned Braden: You have to hand it to the old bastard, he's highly original.
Jim Ahern: That man traveled 15 hours by bus to say that?
Brenda Carter: We're gonna be french fries! Human french fries.
David Laughlin: We didn't choose this place! We didn't choose these people! They were invited!
Claude Lacombe: They belong here more than we.
TV Announcer: And because of a courageous little girl named Penny, the world's largest diamond, the Devil's Eye, is now at the Smithsonian Institute. But what's even more important, folks, this little orphan's dream has come true. Today, she's being adopted. And here she is with her new mother and father.
Captain Nolan: He loved his family... more than I loved mine.
Ben Shockley: How's our Assistant D.A. these days?
Josephson: Shit! He couldn't convict Hitler.
Steve Hanson: All right. I'll give you twenty-four hours, but I AM gonna call in some outside help, because my first responsibility is to save human lives, not sea-serpents.