Narrator: More offensive than "Mandingo." More shocking than "Behind the Green Door." More erotic than "Deep Throat." You will cream in your jeans when you see "Catholic High School Girls in Trouble."
Tanner Boyle: Jews, Spics, Ni**ers and a Wop that throws airballs.
Mr. X: Well Henry, what do you know?
Henry Spencer: Oh, I don't know much of anything.
Karen Wallace: Excuse me, I don't mean to intrude, but could you move your ass, dear?
Adam Thornton: I accept most of your preamble about the rich, full life to which I've been blessed. The plain and unbiased truth is I need time.
Dr. John Hodges: I know.
Adam Thornton: Certain aspects of my life are not in order.
German Aide: Excuse me for interrupting, but ... British paratroopers have apparently landed. Three kilometers from here.
Field Marshal Model: Why should they do that? There's nothing valuable here. I! I am valuable here! They have all come to capture me!
Bilbo Baggins: No hat, no stick, no pipe, not even a pocket handkerchief. How can one survive?
Dr. Paul Moreau: You've been drinking for two straight days Montgomery. I suggest that you continue.
Jane Harper: What kind of lunatic spends $1000 on lunch when he's out of a job and deeply in debt?
Dick Harper: The kind that knows you can't get a job if you look like a loser.
Jane Harper: If I was Diners Club, I'd your stomach bronzed and put it in the Hall of Fame.
Avatar: Oh yeah... one more thing: I'm glad you changed your last name, you son of a bitch.
Fran: Harry?
Harry Calder: Mmh?
Fran: If you're trying to kill us, at least let me put on some lip gloss.
Donna: Wade... there's something I... I wanna tell you about last night. Well, the old lady... well, Chas, he didn't translate everything that she said.
Wade Parent: What do you mean?
Donna: Well, uh... she said... there was no driver in the car.
Deedee Rodgers: Emma said some things. First, she said I married you and had a family with because I knew I wasn't good enough to go professional as a ballet dancer. That wasn't true. But... she also said I had a child with you to prove that you were straight. That was sort of true. I wanted.
Wayne: I know.
Deedee Rodgers: You... you do?
Wayne: Yeah. I guess I wanted to prove it myself.
Priory: Mind the axe, my lady.
King Bruno the Questionable: Guards... kill that man.
Tom Ripley: Even this river - this river reminds me of another river.
Major David Kabakov: What is this thing you Americans call the Super Bowl?
McGrath: Every scout in the NHL is out there tonight, with contracts in their pockets, and they're looking for talent. For winners. oooooooooh. All my years of publicity. All the fashion shows and radiothons for nothing... They come here tonight... to scout the Chiefs... the toughest team in the Federal League! Not this! Buncha... pussies."
Nicolai Dalchimsky: The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep. Remember. Miles to go before I sleep.