Phillip Broyles: Someone out there is experimenting, only the whole world is their lab.
Voice on Tape: Good morning Mister Phelps.
Father Marcus Keane: The power of Christ compels you.
The Crone: Do I look compelled, man of God?
Hannah: Hey, Alex. What's the matter? I told you I don't bite.
The Devil: You don't have any friends, Ezekial. You're not only really dead, you're really most sincerely dead.
Ezekiel Stone: Isn't that from "The Wizard of Oz"?
The Devil: I hate that movie.
Jack Malone: According to the groom, she was an angel.
Martin: I guess love is blind. And deaf. And very, very dumb.
Jack Malone: Spoken like a true romantic.
Crypt Keeper: Heads, I win. Tails, you ooze.
Harold Finch: I'm a very private person.
Urko: These humans are dangerous, don't you understand that? They think that they're as good as we are.
Aku: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung him into the future where my evil is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.
Raylan Givens: Sometimes, we have to make deals with lowlifes because we have our sights set on life forms even somehow lower on the ladder of lowlife than they.
Moira: Hey, that shit is contagious. You want to see your baby girl again? Then you need to keep your fucking shit together.
Michael: Whoever sent us down here was smart, you know? Because they sent us together, and as long as we stick together, we're gonna make it.
Holland Wagenbach: You ever hear of a Canadian super pot?
Vic Mackey: What, you looking to buy a bag?
Jack Harper: Good people has to die too, Tru.
Simon Holmes: Sometimes I wish we collected stamps for fun, instead of battling the forces of weirdness.
Sister Josepha Montefiore: "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" Christ asked the same question.
Richard: Did he get an answer?
Sister Josepha Montefiore: Well, he wasn't a scientist so he knew that... some questions have none.
FBI Agent Max Canary: If I'm not mistaken, she just cut off your balls, Derek.
Derek Jennings: Just the one, Max. Just the one.
Admiral Chegwidden: Nobody pulls a JAG officer off an investigation except me or God, and He hasn't asked.