Best family TV quotes of all time

Neighbours - S8-E20

Tim: Al, why don't you tell us your favorite part of gardening?
Al: Well, I'd have to say it's getting down and dirty with my hoe.

Phaneron ★

What I Meant To Say - S3-E3

Mr. Williams: I'm here to teach you to find the truth in the media. Because there is a difference between what they say, and what is real.
Mr. Turner: That was very good. Watch this: Hunter, what did he just say?
Shawn: Something about Israel.

Phaneron ★

Jeannie: Master is football more important to you than I am?
Major Nelson: Of course not, that's like comparing oranges and lemons.
Jeannie: And I'm the lemon.

Clare Edwards: What are you doing here?
Eli Goldsworthy: Hi Eli, how are you? Fine Clare thanks for asking.
Clare Edwards: Hi.

Pizzazz: Why do you always think the worst of me?
Stormer: Don't answer that, Jem.

Wayne Arnold: Butthead.

Ralph Hinkley: Bill, I've got an idea.
Bill Maxwell: Good, put it to me in a letter, I'll try to get back to you by the end of the month.

Hoss Delgado: Give it to us straight, Goodburger. Is our little Remus.
Mandy: Billy.
Hoss Delgado: ...Billy, on the bullet train to Smartsville, or is he riding the slow pony to the rubber forest?

Floyd: You can be the smartest man in the world - and for all I know, you are - but you will never understand women.

Joey Wheeler, Shadi: Go, Drumsticks.
Mai Valentine: Uh, guys? Joey named his chicken.
Joey Wheeler, Shadi: It's a Nematory, Mai.
Mai Valentine: Whatever.

Hank Lawson: I ain't stupid.
Olive Bray: Well, that's a matter of opinion.

Baby: I'm a big boy.

Bato of the Water Tribe - S1-E15

Zuko: Where's the Avatar?
Sokka: We split up. He's long gone.
Zuko: How stupid do you think I am?
Sokka: Pretty stupid.

Friso94

Herman Picks a Winner - S2-E16

Herman: After I'm through with you, you're never going to gamble again as long as you live.
Eddie: How much do you wanna bet?
Herman: I'll bet you a quarter, and I'll give you two to one!
Lily: HERMAN!

Movie Nut

Gordo: Yeah, well, there's lots of weird stuff in this world - tofu bacon, hairless cats, country music.

Louis Stevens: I am making a quality cucumber shake here.
Ren Stevens: Not on my time.

Tony: Hey look at this nose. I fractured this nose three times and I can still smell.
Samantha Micelli: Yeah! I broke my finger twice and I can still dial.
Mona Robinson: I once fractured my pelvis.
Tony: Yeah, and she can still dance.

Mr. Belding: Go to class, learn something.

Fozzie: Let's all sing the rhyming song, the rhyming song, the rhyming song. Let's take turns and rhyme together... the rhyming song.
Pig: I left my niece in your car.
Fozzie: The rhyming song, the rhyming song.
Pig: My laundry's ready at half-past nine.
Fozzie: The rhyming song. Oh brother. Link?
Link: The stars are twinkling in the sky.
Fozzie: The rhyming song, the rhyming song.
Link: There's no hot water in my hotel.
Fozzie: The rhyming song.

Martha Quinn: If someone asks you for directions, stop. Think about it for a moment, and if you don't know the best way for them to go, smile and tell them cheerfully that you can't help them and they should ask someone else. Giving someone directions that you're not sure about, even if you're just trying to help, is a bad idea. Don't be a hero. No directions are better than bad directions.