J.D. Sheldrake: Ya know, you see a girl a couple of times a week, just for laughs, and right away they think you're gonna divorce your wife. Now I ask you, is that fair?
C.C. Baxter: No, sir, it's very unfair... Especially to your wife.
Trudie: There may not be such a thing as a perfect job, a perfect life or a perfect family, but there is such a thing as a perfect moment. So I take back what I said. Doing one crazy thing probably does make you crazy, but it also can make you happy.
Shaddus Peyser: What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?
Willie: Spare some change. Think about somebody besides your fucking self.
Steve: This is Germany, Father. They drive on the right. National dish: sausage.
Charlie: You the man.
Jack: No, I'm the snowman.
Ernest: I have lived my life in the fast lane.
Laird Mayhew: I don't know how to talk to the guy. It's like we speak two different languages or something.
Gustav: You do.
Laird Mayhew: Yeah.
Gustav: He speaks English, and you speak English with resounding amounts of "fuck."
Kris Kringle: You know what the imagination is?
Susan Walker: Oh, sure. That's when you see things, but they're not really there.
Kris Kringle: Well, that can be caused by other things, too.
Toymaster: Barnaby, what is it exactly that you want? Didn't Santa Claus bring you enough toys last Christmas?
Lucy: If you fit into my pants I will kill myself.
Guy: I was going to tell you everything eventually.
Dana Mathis: Are you high? It's freezing out there.
Marv Merchants: Well, prison isn't so bad. We do get salisbury steak on Wednesdays.
Jake Wilkinson: Say something romantic.
Officer Max: Huh.
Jake Wilkinson: Say something apologetic.
Officer Max: Huh.
Jake Wilkinson: SAY something english.
Connie Ennis: If you wish for things you can get, you're gonna be happy. If you wish for real big things, all you're gonna get is real big disappointments.
Rachel Bitterman: You are very fit for a plus sized pig.
Miss Piggy: And you will not look good with a plus sized lip.
Rose: I like to think my life matters.
Charlie: Oh, your life matters, you've touched other people's lives in ways you don't even realise.
Rose: How do you know that?
Charlie: Cause you've touched my life.