Mikey Ubriacco: I don't wanna brush my teeth. I brushed them last Saturday.
James: I know, but you're gonna have plants growing out of your mouth.
Kris: You messed with the wrong sisters.
Ebenezer Scrooge: How shall I ever understand this world? There is nothing on which it is so hard as poverty, and yet, there is nothing it condemns with such severity as the pursuit of wealth.
Toymaker: Oh, for heaven's sakes! Such a dreadful temper! I'm glad I'm not marrying you! Well, I am marrying you, but I'm marrying you to her.
Tia Hall: Honey, the girls are having a great time showing everybody the lights. I pray to God that's the only thing they're showing.
Giant Santa: I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.
Barb: I think the little buggers schnockered, son of a bitch.
Ernest: I have lived my life in the fast lane.
Piiparinen: See for yourselves. There's something really weird about him. Don't you think?
Aimo: He's a foreigner.
Langston: What kind of parents are you?
Reverend Cornell Cobbs: The broken hearted kind.
Mama: That man looks like that Santa from years ago... no, can't be...No more eggnog for me.
Older James: I remember that winter because it had brought the heaviest snows I had ever seen. Snow had fallen steadily all night long and in the morning I woke in a room filled with light and silence, the world seemed to be held in a dream-like stillness. It was a magical day. And it was on that day I made the snowman.
Drew Latham: Please! Please, let me stay here.
Tom Valco: No.
Drew Latham: I'll pay you.
Tom Valco: My family's not for sale, pal.
Drew Latham: I'll pay you $250,000.
Tom Valco: Welcome home, son.
Marv Merchants: Well, prison isn't so bad. We do get salisbury steak on Wednesdays.
Laird Mayhew: I don't know how to talk to the guy. It's like we speak two different languages or something.
Gustav: You do.
Laird Mayhew: Yeah.
Gustav: He speaks English, and you speak English with resounding amounts of "fuck."
Daniel: You take coffee from a bush?
Daniel's 'Boss': Shrub. When you write the rules of the universe you know where all the loopholes are. Hence I created a coffee shrub.
Toymaster: Barnaby, what is it exactly that you want? Didn't Santa Claus bring you enough toys last Christmas?
Ricky Caldwell: You tend to get paranoid when everyone around you gets dead.