Henry: I saw her ankles.
Captain Jack Sparrow: You would've seen a lot more if you kept your cakehole shut.
Aslan: Things never happen the same way twice, dear one.
Jack Sparrow: Oi fish face! I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! Guess what's inside of it?.
Lawyer: So Mr. Montgomery, are you claiming there was no bumblebee present at the time of the incident?
Earl Montgomery: No, I'm not. There was a bumblebee present, man.
Lawyer: Oh, good.
Earl Montgomery: And there were birds chirpin'. There were dogs barkin'. Hell, for all I know, there was a chipmunk in the bushes, humping a turtle! You know you gotta be careful with them chipmunks. They'll hump anything!
Marlboro: My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, never chase buses or women, you'll always be left behind.
[Wade is using a bleach pen on his clothes to remove the blood]
Blind Al: Seltzer water and lemon for blood. Or wear red. Dumbass.
Connor: Jeez! It's a fuckin' six-shooter. Fuck!
Murphy: There's nine bodies, genius.
Connor: What the fuck were you gonna do, laugh the last three to death, Funny-Man?
Frau Farbissina: Remember when we froze your semen? You said that if it looked like you weren't coming back we should try to make you a son so that a part of you could live forever?
Dr. Evil: Oh, sure.
Frau Farbissina: Well, after a couple of years, we got a little impatient. Dr. Evil, I want you to meet your son.
Dr. Evil: My son?
Frau Farbissina: Ja. SCOTT!
Megatron: Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
Optimus Prime: You'll never stop at one... I'll take you all on!
Ivana Humpalot: My name is Ivana. Ivana Humpalot.
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Ivana Humpalot: Ivana Humpalot.
Austin: And I want a toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now, is it?
Matthias: It it each man's quest to find out who he truly is but the answer to that lies in the present, not in the past. As it is for all of us.
Doug Quaid: But the past tells us who we've become.
Matthias: The past is a construct of the mind. It blinds us. It fools us into believing it. But the heart wants to live in the present. Look there. You'll find your answer.
Quintus Arrius: Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That's good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.
Pilla: Colonel, they're shooting at us! Colonel, they're shooting at us!
McKnight: Well shoot back!
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Jesse: No "and then"!
Chinese Food Lady: And then?
Professor Fate: Leslie escaped?
General: With a small friar.
Professor Fate: Leslie escaped with a chicken?
Harry Stamper: You got any more bullets in that gun, Sharp?
Robin Monroe: If you were half a pilot, we wouldn't be on this island!
Quinn Harris: I'm the best damn pilot you're ever going to meet!
Robin Monroe: Ha! I've flown with you twice and you've crashed half the time!
Slick Dimitry: You're half machine, half pussy.