Ace Ventura: Aaalll righty then.
Sarah: People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the Land of the Dead. But sometimes, something so bad happens that a terrible sadness is carried with it and the soul can not rest. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring that soul back to put the wrong things right.
Howard Payne: See, I'm in charge here! I drop this stick, and they pick your friend here up with a sponge! Are you ready to die, friend?
Harry: Fuck you!
Howard Payne: Oh! In two hundred years we've gone from "I regret but I have one life to give for my country" to "Fuck you!"?
Frank Drebin: Hey, Rocco. Who's the old bag? She take one in the face?
Rocco: She's my mother.
Frank Drebin: Oh. Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless, sadistic, cold-blooded animal. You must be very proud of him.
Mrs. Dillon: I am.
Nicholas Earp: Remember this, all of you. Nothing counts so much as blood. The rest are just strangers.
Koga Shuko: I just want total domination of one major American City! Is that too much to ask for!? Is it? Is it? Huh?
Carol: Oh, I guess we should stop, 'cause Harold has to pee.
Rudy Travis: Get back in the front. Get back up there with Harold! Get up there.
Harold Carvey, DVM: I don't want to play... this game... anymore.
Rudy Travis: You pee in your pants.
Sean Barker: The Guyver Unit. It's been a year since the alien armor invaded my body and became a part of me. A year since I first became the Guyver and destroyed the Chronos Corporation and their shape changing killers, the Zoanoids. Now Chronos is gone. But the Guyver stays in me. Calling me to fight. To kill.
Officer Sam 'Mad Dog' Shaw: Where you guys from, Texas?
Pepper: Texas? Ain't no real cowboys from Texas, we're from New Mexico.
Grandpa Mori Shintaro: Before you go to Japan, you will be tested on the field of battle. Remember, four strands of rope, apart you can snap, but together you can be strong, now get out there and kick butt.
Mickey: Right now, I'd go down on a lawman for a gallon of gas.
Serge: Now, one thing's very important. At the survival boutiqua, I feel that it's my personality, that's it's my philosophy that everything must conform to the three P's, OK? Which is, protection. Prestige. And pretty. I mean, why should you look ugly if you're just trying to survive?
McComb: Elections are won with television. You don't need the press, you don't need endorsements, you don't even need the truth. You need money.
Bison: Dee Jay, has the AN deposited the twenty million in my Swiss bank?
[Dee Jay checks and finds the account empty.]
Dee Jay: Hell no, General.
