The Fuzzy Boots Corollary - S1-E3
Raj: Tonight I spice my mead with goblin blood.
The Countdown Reflection - S5-E24
Amy: Bernadette, I want to thank you for allowing me to be your maid of honor. I also want you to know that I will be happy to do it again if this marriage craps out.
The Colonization Application - S8-E17
Amy: We could also be the first people to procreate on Mars.
Sheldon: You just can't keep it in your space pants, can you?
The Intimacy Acceleration - S8-E16
Penny: If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?
Sheldon: So it would be today? Huh... Well, I suppose there's something satisfying about dying on my birthday.
Penny: Today's your birthday?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: Well that's always been a secret. Not even Amy knows.
Sheldon: Well, I don't enjoy presents. And the thought of people jumping out and yelling surprise fills me with more dread than the words "George Lucas Director's Cut."
The Intimacy Acceleration - S8-E16
Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, Penny, if this experiment does make us fall in love, would you drive me to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, for Gary-Con? It's the only convention celebrating the life and work of Gary Gygax, the co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons.
Penny: You know what, I can honestly say if we fall in love, not only will I drive you there, I will buy you all the dragon T-shirts you want.
Sheldon: Okay, babe, let's do this.
The Lizard-Spock Expansion - S2-E8
Raj: I'll tell you what, how about we go rock-paper-scissors?
Sheldon: Ooh, I don't think so. No, anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of rock-paper-scissors, players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes. I suggest rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock.
Raj: What?
Sheldon: It's very simple. Look, scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock. Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard. Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
The Intimacy Acceleration - S8-E16
Bernadette: You better find my husband's mother, 'cause one way or another we're walking out of this airport with a dead woman.
The Vegas Renormalization - S2-E21
Sheldon: That's preposterous. I do not resemble C-3PO. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. I just don't see it.
The Comic Book Store Regeneration - S8-E15
Raj: Wait, hang on. If you're really Nathan Fillion, what's the line from Firefly about your bonnet?
Customer: I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.
Leonard: That's it. That's the line.
Raj: Although, I knew the line, doesn't make me Nathan Fillion.
Customer: Do you want the picture or not?
Raj: I want a picture with Nathan Fillion.
Customer: How about a picture with a guy who looks like Nathan Fillion, but a little more annoyed than Nathan Fillion usually is?
Leonard: What do you think?
Raj: Eh, it's good enough for Facebook.
The Hofstadter Isotope - S2-E20
Raj: Come on! You know I can't talk to women unless I'm lit up like the Hindu festival of Diwali.
The Hofstadter Isotope - S2-E20
Leonard: Oh hey, Stuart. This is Penny. She's looking for some comic books.
Stuart: Oh, really? Blink twice if you're here against your will.
The Comic Book Store Regeneration - S8-E15
Stuart: I can't believe she's gone. That woman took me in. If it wasn't for her, I would have been homeless.
Amy: One of us would have taken you in.
Stuart: Yeah, I don't recall any offers. But you know what, I'm glad it worked out the way it did, because I got to know this wonderful person.
Penny: Can you help me? I was writing an email and the A key got stuck. Now it's just going "Aaaaaaa."
The Luminous Fish Effect - S1-E4
Sheldon: Pleased to meet you, Dr. Gablehauser. How fortunate is it that the university has chosen to hire you, despite the fact that you've done no original research in 25 years and instead have written a series of popular books that reduce the great concept of science to a series of anecdotes, each one dumbed down to accommodate the duration of the average bowel movement. Mahalo.
The Lizard-Spock Expansion - S2-E8
Wolowitz: I got the Mars rover stuck in a ditch.
Sheldon Cooper: Where?
Wolowitz: On a dusty highway just outside of Bakersfield. Where do you think? On Mars!
Sheldon: Coffee is out of the question. When I moved to California, I promised my mother that I wouldn't start doing drugs.
Leonard: I already lied. Why cover it up with another lie?
Sheldon Cooper: Because your lie was painfully transparent, whereas my lie is exquisitely convoluted. While you were sleeping, I was busy weaving an un-unravelable web.
The 21-Second Excitation - S4-E8
Bernadette: I really love Howard's chest hair.
Penny: Howard has a hairy chest?
Bernadette: No, just the one, but it's really long.
Suggested correction: Not being able to afford doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have the money, especially a man like Sheldon. He works with a budget and he sticks to it. In his budget he has a certain amount set aside for rent, anything more than that and he can't afford it alone.
Nonsense. If he was sticking to a "rigid budget" he wouldn't have even thought of lending a hopeless credit risk like Penny a single cent. Instead he throws a huge bankroll at her without even discussing a repayment plan.
Rubbish, I stick to a strict budget but still have the money to lend to close friends. Like Penny is to him.
He might have different budgets for different things. People could get a higher margin because they could be of more use to the scientific mind of Sheldon.