Sheldon: I was analyzing our lie and I believe we're in danger of Penny seeing through the ruse.
Leonard: How?
Sheldon: Simple: If she were to log on to SoCal physics group.org forward slash activities forward slash other, scroll down to seminars, download the PDF schedule, and look for the seminar on molecular positronium, well then, bippity boppity boo, our pants are metaphorically on fire!
The Zazzy Substitution - S4-E3
Sheldon: May I point out that for eight long months, I suffered in silence as your female companion filled our apartment with her off key country music caterwauling, the unappetizing spectacle of grinding a pommel stone against her calloused feet in our living room, and night after night of uninformative TV documentaries about the Jersey Shore.
Leonard: Suffered in silence?
Sheldon: Yes, and I would expect you to do the same.
Leonard: Really? SILENCE!?
The Guitarist Amplification - S3-E7
Sheldon Cooper: Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago, I told you not to talk to her, and now look, we're going to be late for the movies.
The Guitarist Amplification - S3-E7
Penny: Wow, Sheldon. I had no idea you made a board game.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, Research Lab is more than just a board game. As it says in the box, "the physics is theoretical, but the fun is real."
Leonard Hofstadter: We must not be playing it right.
Sheldon: You have about as much chance of going out with Penny as the Hubble Telescope has of finding that at the center of each black hole there's a little man with a flashlight trying to find the circuit breaker.
The Countdown Reflection - S5-E24
Sheldon: All right, my turn. Howard, Bernadette. DaQH Daj mo...DaQH...
Bernadette: Sheldon! I told you no Klingon.
The Communication Deterioration - S8-E21
Penny: You are a wise man.
Sheldon: Well, Penny, who's smarter, the wise man or the person who comes to him for advice?
Penny: Oh, I guess you're right. Maybe it is the person who asks.
Sheldon: No. It's the wise man. That's why he's called the wise man. You know how I know that? I'm the wise man.
The Vegas Renormalization - S2-E21
Sheldon: While my compatriots are in Las Vegas, I will be enjoying a blissful evening in my personal Fortress of Solitude.
Penny: That's Superman's big ice thingy, right?
Sheldon: You know, I'm in such a good mood, I'm actually finding your tenuous grasp of the English language folksy and charming today.
Penny: Sheldon, have you any idea what time it is?
Sheldon Cooper: Of course I do. My watch is linked to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. It's accurate to one-tenth of a second. But as I'm saying this, it occurs to me that you may have again been asking a rhetorical question.
The White Asparagus Triangulation - S2-E9
Sheldon: Hi Stephanie, I'm sorry I'm late but your companion left me the most undecipherable invitation
Leonard: What invitation?
Sheldon: [From note.] "We're going to the movies" What movie? What theater? What time? If you wanted to make it impossible to find you, you couldn't have done a better job.
Leonard: Oh I could have.
The Panty Piñata Polarization - S2-E7
Sheldon Cooper: Woman, you're playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Your Ken can kiss my Barbie.
Chosen answer: The song is called "Dark as a Dungeon" and was written and first performed by singer-songwriter Merle Travis in 1946. It has been performed by a wide array of artists, including Tennessee Ernie Ford, Harry Belafonte, Dolly Parton, Queens of the Stone Age, Kathy Mattea and Amy Grant. But it was made most famous when it was performed and recorded by Johnny Cash during his concert at Folsom Prison in 1968. According to Wikipedia: "It is a lament about the danger and drudgery of being a coal miner in an Appalachian shaft mine. It has become a rallying song among miners seeking improved working conditions."
Michael Albert