Mr. Monk and the Three Julies - S6-E13
Dr. Kroger: So, uh, a glass eyeball, huh?
Monk: The mother died three months ago. The son never reported it.
Dr. Kroger: Wait, did the son kill the mother?
Monk: The doctors say no. It was a heart aneurysm. Her son, Matthew, is an amateur taxidermist. He stuffed her body. He carried her from room to room like nothing happened.
Dr. Kroger: Yeah, I've heard of cases like that. See, he couldn't function without her. They call it "radical cognitive bonding."
Monk: At least I never dug Trudy up and had her stuffed and mounted, right?
Dr. Kroger. Yes. And I've always been very proud of you for that.
Mr. Monk Visits a Farm - S5-E14
Jimmy Belmont: Well, here I am. You wanna ask me something, go right ahead.
Monk: OK. What's back there? Let me guess. Fields of reefer.
Jimmy: Fields of reefer? What kind of cop were you?
Monk: You know what I mean. Ditchweed. Boo. The old Ali Babba.
Jimmy: What makes you think I'd actually...
Monk: Magic Dragon, Bambalachi, Yellow Submarine, Black Bart, Doctor Giggles, Kentucky Blue. You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Railroad Weed. That's right, the Devil's Parsley. Skunk. Splim, Splam, Mooster. Side Salad.
Jimmy: Side Salad?
Mr. Monk and the Really, Really Dead Guy - S5-E15
Julie Teeger: There you go. You're online.
Monk: Oh... Oh... I'm on the web! The World Wide Web.
Julie Teeger: Welcome to 1998, Mr. Monk.
Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion - S5-E6
Randy Disher: Captain? I, uh, tracked down Kalimarakis. I don't think he's our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He got a waiver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So there's no motive.
Disher: Right. Number two, he's dead. He died in 1995. And number three, he moved to Europe in the late 80's. So there's no record of him ever returning.
Stottlemeyer: Randy. Randy. Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt you, but could you read number two again?
Disher: Okeedoke. He's dead.
Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Disher: You would have switched them?
Stottlemeyer: Yeah. But that's just me. And probably every other adult on the planet Earth.
Mr. Monk Can't See a Thing - S5-E4
Randy Disher: Is that your Ferrari out there?
Peter Breen: That's one of them.
Randy: Do you like it? I was thinking of getting one myself. It's either between that or the Ford Festiva.
Mr. Monk and the Garbage Strike - S5-E2
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, I have been burned twice this week already. Are you sure about this? I mean, are you absolutely sure? [Monk smiles] That's good enough for me.
Mr. Monk and the Actor - S5-E1
Dr. Kroger: And they cancelled the movie?
Monk: He said he wanted to play a character that wasn't so dark and depressing. He's in England, doing Hamlet.
Mr. Monk Takes Manhattan - S3-E1
Warrick Tennyson: You were the husband?
Adrian Monk: I am the husband.
Warrick Tennyson: Forgive me.
Adrian Monk: Forgive you? This is me...turning off your morphine. [Turns off morphine. Long pause. Monk covers his eyes and begins to cry.] And this is Trudy, the woman you killed...turning it back on. [Turns on morphine].
Mr. Monk Goes to the Office - S4-E4
Natalie: I use to work at a place like this. I lasted about two weeks. You do the same thing everyday.
Monk: The same thing.
Natalie: After a while, you get to feel like a number.
Monk: A number.
Natalie: You're just like everybody else.
Monk: Everybody else.
Natalie: You're basically a drone.
Monk: A drone.
Answer: The two men are trying to work out a secret deal between them without involving the union, which means the workers' interests aren't being represented and defeats the whole purpose of a union. The mayor would lose labor's support and Cusack's union troubles would just be starting.
Captain Defenestrator