Mr. Monk Makes A Friend - S5-E11
Monk: [On the phone with Hal] Oh that, that, that was just my assistant, Natalie. Uh? Ah, hold on, I'll see. [Speaking to Natalie] Are you hot?
Mr. Monk Visits a Farm - S5-E14
Jimmy Belmont: Well, here I am. You wanna ask me something, go right ahead.
Monk: OK. What's back there? Let me guess. Fields of reefer.
Jimmy: Fields of reefer? What kind of cop were you?
Monk: You know what I mean. Ditchweed. Boo. The old Ali Babba.
Jimmy: What makes you think I'd actually...
Monk: Magic Dragon, Bambalachi, Yellow Submarine, Black Bart, Doctor Giggles, Kentucky Blue. You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Railroad Weed. That's right, the Devil's Parsley. Skunk. Splim, Splam, Mooster. Side Salad.
Jimmy: Side Salad?
Mr. Monk and the Really, Really Dead Guy - S5-E15
Julie Teeger: There you go. You're online.
Monk: Oh... Oh... I'm on the web! The World Wide Web.
Julie Teeger: Welcome to 1998, Mr. Monk.
Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion - S5-E6
Randy Disher: Captain? I, uh, tracked down Kalimarakis. I don't think he's our guy. Number one, it turns out he was allowed to join the Olympic swim team as an alternate. He got a waiver.
Captain Stottlemeyer: So there's no motive.
Disher: Right. Number two, he's dead. He died in 1995. And number three, he moved to Europe in the late 80's. So there's no record of him ever returning.
Stottlemeyer: Randy. Randy. Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt you, but could you read number two again?
Disher: Okeedoke. He's dead.
Stottlemeyer: Right. See, I probably would have stopped reading after number two. In fact, I would have read number two first.
Disher: You would have switched them?
Stottlemeyer: Yeah. But that's just me. And probably every other adult on the planet Earth.
Mr. Monk Can't See a Thing - S5-E4
Randy Disher: Is that your Ferrari out there?
Peter Breen: That's one of them.
Randy: Do you like it? I was thinking of getting one myself. It's either between that or the Ford Festiva.
Mr. Monk and the Garbage Strike - S5-E2
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, I have been burned twice this week already. Are you sure about this? I mean, are you absolutely sure? [Monk smiles] That's good enough for me.
Mr. Monk and the Actor - S5-E1
Dr. Kroger: And they cancelled the movie?
Monk: He said he wanted to play a character that wasn't so dark and depressing. He's in England, doing Hamlet.
Answer: The two men are trying to work out a secret deal between them without involving the union, which means the workers' interests aren't being represented and defeats the whole purpose of a union. The mayor would lose labor's support and Cusack's union troubles would just be starting.
Captain Defenestrator