Family Guy

Family Guy (1999)

15 quotes from show generally

(30 votes)

Movie Quote Quiz

Lois: Hello?
Peter: I can't take the trash out today, I'm working late at the office.
Lois: The caller ID says you're calling from the kitchen. In fact I can see you.
Peter: [Edging sideways.] OK, can you see me now?
Lois: No.
Peter: Now I am at the office.

Meg Griffin: I just want to kill myself. I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
[Lois and Peter stare in silence.]
Meg Griffin: I'm allergic to peanuts.
[Peter and Lois keep staring.]
Meg Griffin: You don't know anything about me! [Runs upstairs.]
Peter Griffin: Who was that guy?

Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night lineup.
Peter: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian: That's Street Fighter.
Peter: Red, blue, green...
Brian: Those are colors.

Stewie: Lois! I've got a gift for you. I'll give you a hint - it's in my pants and it's not a toaster.

Peter: [to Lois.] Yeah, you're a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time, and I'M the man.

[Lois is washing Stewie in the sink.]
Stewie: Not so hard, woman! You're washing a baby's hair, not cleaning the vomit off your party dress, you holiday drunk!

Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... Like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.

[Joe Swanson is hanging on the edge of a waterfall in a sewer and Lois is trying to pull him up.]
Lois Griffin: Joe, I can't hold you! You're too heavy!
Joe Swanson: Lois! Pretend I'm one of your children!
[Lois begins to let go of his hand.]
Joe Swanson: Not Meg! Not Meg!

Meg: Mom, Dad, am I ugly?
Lois: Of course not, sweetie.
Peter: Yeah, where'd you get a stupid idea like that?
Meg: Craig Hoffman.
Peter: Craig...Craig Hoffman? Hmmm, he's a sharp kid. You might be ugly.

Lois: You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter: Uh, what could me and you do together?
[Lois giggles.]
Peter: Lois! You've got a sick mind.
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.

Tom Tucker: Due to an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmissions will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well Tom, I just plain don't like black people.
[Both laugh.]
Cameraman: You guys, we're still on in Boston.
[Both stare in horror at the camera.].

Waiter: Your coffee, madam.
Lois: I'll pour it. You know, my family really isn't comfortable with being waited on like this.
Stewie: Cut my eggs!
Waiter: Your eggs are now cut, sir.
Stewie: Cut my milk!
Waiter: I can't cut your milk, sir.
Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it. If you question me again, I'll put you on diaper detail, and I promise I won't make it easy for you.

Chris Griffin: Stewie, do you want a sundae?
Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find...I shall kill you!

Diane Simmons: Quite a situation we've got here Tom.
Tom Tucker: Quite a situation we've got here Tom indeed, Diane.

Family Guy mistake picture

And Then There Were Fewer - S9-E1

Continuity mistake: When everyone is in the dining room at the dinner table, the order of where everyone sits changes between shots. In all moments where it shows everyone sitting, the order is Priscilla, Derek, Jillian, Mort, Muriel, and Carl. But in one shot, the order is Priscilla, Derek, Jillian, Muriel, Mort, Carl.

Turangaa_Maxx

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Grumpy Old Man - S10-E9

Trivia: One of the cutaway gags is about someone who survived 9/11 because he was late for work watching late night football. Seth MacFarlane missed his flight, which would have been one of the flights to crash into the World Trade Center, because his agent had given him the incorrect departure time. The plane was scheduled to depart at 7:45 AM and his agent had told him it was departing at 8:15 AM. By the time Seth arrived the boarding had been closed and he was told he would have to catch a later flight.

More trivia for Family Guy

Answer: Mort is Jewish, and Walt Disney was said to be antisemitic. So it would make sense in a Disney universe all the inhabitants would share his supposed beliefs.

MasterOfAll

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