Quotes from Steve Martin movies and TV shows - page 2 of 5

George Banks: Mr Habeeb, this is not a piece of land. This is my home and I'm gonna be a father again and I don't want to bring my baby home to a condo on the beach! I wanna drive down that street and I wanna pull into this driveway and I wanna honk my horn.

George Banks: Now, going to the movies, that'll be economical: one child, two seniors, thanks.

George Banks: We could sell this house in a second. It's the Leave It to Beaver house that everybody wants.

Matty Banks: I'm, 4-foot 6, I don't shave, I don't have a job, and I'm gonna be an uncle. Is there something weird about that?
George Banks: Finally, someone who thinks like I do.
Nina Banks: Oh, yeah, a 12 year old.

George Banks: What am I supposed to do? Sleep standing up?

Davis: We're talking about a religious experience here. I might say "doth" or "thou" or a lot of things.

Davis: There's so much rage going around we're damn lucky we have the movies to help us vent it.

Newton Davis: Wow! You're a genius. You're like the Ernest Hemingway of bullshit.

Newton Davis: Where did all this furniture come from?
Gwen: Bigelows.

George Davis: What she told us was how sorry you were, like the other week, when you cried? No shame in it, son. Just don't do it too often. Nobody likes a cry baby.

Gwen: I think this marriage is worth saving.
Newton Davis: What marriage?

Newton Davis: Tell me why for God's sake did you come here?
Gwen: I just wanted to see what it would be like to live in that picture.

Newton Davis: What do you say, Gwen?"Gwen" do you get off... and "gwhere" can we "gwo"?

Newton Davis: So, what do you think, can you show this to Moseby?
Marty: Ah... you'd better do it.
Newton Davis: Why? He likes you.
Marty: Davis, if I take that in there and Moseby starts carrying on about how brilliant it is... I'm going to take the credit.
Newton Davis: What?
Marty: Mmm hmm.
Newton Davis: You're my friend, where are your ethics?
Marty: My ethics are that I know this about myself, so I'm not going to take this in there and screw you over.

Gwen: I don't want your goddamn money.
Newton Davis: No, just my goddamn house.

Newton Davis: Half the things we tell ourselves are fiction.

Becky Metcalf: Do you know why I said no to you that day? It's because you scared me, building this house, putting a big ribbon around it... I didn't want to marry a dreamer. I'm not that brave. When I see you through Gwen's eyes you look very different to me.
Newton Davis: How?
Becky Metcalf: Well, I could see how a dreamer, with somebody who believes in him, could do great things.

Jane: Jane?
Jane: Hi.
Adam: Did you get this high from one hit?
Jane: Yeeeaaaaaahhh.

Jane: I was going to call you last night, and then you wouldn't have taken the call. It would have of gone on for months and.
Adam: I would have taken the call.

Truck Driver Picking Up Navin: St. Louis?
Navin R. Johnson: No, Navin Johnson.