Quotes from Steve Martin movies and TV shows - page 4 of 5

Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: What a day for a mow eh?

Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: You dirty rat.
Billy Sparrow: Snitch.
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Stool pigeon.
Billy Sparrow: Informer.
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Squealer.
Billy Sparrow: You dirty rat.
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: I already said you dirty rat.
Billy Sparrow: Yeah, but I say it better.

Barney: The Padres play the Mets every so often, though you folks would probably be Yankees fans. It's been my experience that most organized crime people are.
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: I love the Yankees, Linda loves the Yankees, so does Terry.
Linda: Who's Terry?
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: You are.

Karen: I happen to like the roller coaster, okay? As far as I'm concerned, your grandmother is brilliant.
Gil: Yeah, if she's so brilliant, why is she sitting in our NEIGHBOR'S CAR?

Gil: We'll throw away the TV. We'll perform Shakespeare in front of him.

Nathan: Did he say "Cool"?
Gil: Cool.

Gil: Keep Patty away from Larry - suck the intelligence right out of her.

Karen: Do you really have to go?
Gil: My whole life is "have to."

Justin: Who's that?
Gil: It's my kid brother, Larry, your uncle. Don't give him any money.
Justin: I won't.

Inspector Clouseau: Let me bring you up to speed... We know nothing. You are now up to speed.

Mrs. Berenger: I'm going to hold up a series of images, and I want you to tell me what you see. Just say the first thing that comes into your mind.
Inspector Clouseau: A drunken Irishman. An Englishman with bad teeth. A San Francisco nancy boy. A Polish army officer driving a septic tank. [Laughing] Where did you get these cards?

Bishop73

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The good-cop/bad-cop routine is working perfectly.
Ponton: You know, usually two different cops do that.

French journalist: Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or woman?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well of course I know that! What else is there? A kitten?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What? What did you say?
Ponton: Nothing.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You mean, you didn't just say: Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you, stop the car?

Ponton: He was just found dead in a training facility locker room. Shot in the head.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Was it fatal?
Ponton: Yes.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: How fatal?
Ponton: Um, completely.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I want to talk to him now.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?

Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: A Woman is like an artichoke, you must work hard to get to her heart.

Charlie: Ten more seconds and I'm leaving! Ten-
Roxanne: What did you say?
Charlie: I said ten more seconds and I'm leaving.
Roxanne: Oh.
Charlie: What did you think I said?
Roxanne: I thought you said earn more sessions by sleeving.
Charlie: What does that mean?
Roxanne: I don't know. That's why I came out.

Charlie: I really admire your shoes.
Bystander: What?
Charlie: I really admire your shoes. But as much as I admire your shoes, I really wouldn't want to be IN your shoes at this particular moment in time.