Quotes from Jim Carrey movies and TV shows - page 3 of 8

Lloyd: So what happened, Harry? Some little filly break your heart?
Harry: No, it was a girl.
Lloyd: Oh!

Harry: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at 10 in the morning?
Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic!

Lloyd Christmas: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?
Mary Swanson: Well Lloyd, that's difficult to say. We really don't.
Lloyd Christmas: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. Just...the least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary Swanson: Not good.
Lloyd Christmas: You mean not good like, one out of a hundred?
Mary Christmas: I'd say more like one out of a million.
Lloyd Christmas: So you're telling me there's a chance! YEAH!

Harry Dunne: I don't know about you but I am getting sick and tired of...of running from creditors!
Lloyd Christmas: You know what I'm sick and tired of, Harry? I'm sick and tired of having to eke my way through life. I'm sick and tired of being a nobody. But most of all, I'm sick and tired of having nobody.

Harry Dunne: Whoa, Lloyd. Check out the hotties at 12 o'clock.
Lloyd Christmas: That's three hours away. Why can't I check 'em out now?

Harry Dunne: This is my associate, Dr. Christmas.
Dr. Lewis Meldman: Christmas, as in the holiday?
Lloyd Christmas: No, as in the tree.

Valerie: Aw, Wiploc, I think I'll miss you least of all.
Wiploc: You want a liplock from Wiploc?

Wiploc: Finland is here?
Valerie: Finland? No, this is the Valley. Finland is the capital of Norway. Gawd, you guys sure learn fast.

Joel Barish: I can't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will, you will think of things and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel Barish: Okay.
Clementine: Okay.

Dick Harper: Son of a bitch.
Jane Harper: That fucker.
Dick Harper: Hon, language.

Jane Harper: I went to this Botox Experiment, and I had a little accident... does it really look that bad?
Dick Harper: No. Just... different.
Day Laborer: Hey Dick, can we talk about these some other time?

Morton: Horton, the kangaroo has sent Vlad!
Horton: Vlad? I know two Vlads. One is a cute little bunny that brings me cookies. The other is bad Vlad. Which Vlad?
Morton: Which one do you think?
Horton: Bad Vlad?
Morton: Good call.

The Grinch: Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst, and that's all that matters.

The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - and on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go my schedule simply wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no-one. 5:30, jazzercize. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?

Grinch: Hello!
Grinch's Echo: Hello! Hello! Hello!
Grinch: How are you?
Grinch's Echo: How are you? How are you? How are you?
Grinch: I asked you first.
Grinch's Echo: I asked you first. I asked you first. I asked you first.
Grinch: Oh, that's real mature. Saying exactly what I say.
Grinch's Echo: Exactly what I say. Exactly what I say. Exactly what I say.
Grinch: I'm an idiot.
Grinch's Echo: You're an idiot.
Grinch: [Whispering] All right. Fine. I'm not talking to you anymore. In fact, I'm going to whisper. So that by the time the sound of my voice reverberates off the walls and gets back to me, I won't be able to hear it.
Grinch's Echo: You're an idiot.

Grinch: Fat boy ought to finishing up any time now. Talk about a recluse! He only comes out once a year, and HE never catches any flak for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes! [Notices Santa leaving.] OOOpsy! Forgot about the reindeer. If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead. Max, I'm going to steal Christmas!

Movie Nut

The Grinch: Oh. Bleeding hearts of the world unite.

The Grinch: Oh, the Who-manity.

The Grinch: One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.
[Max barks.]
The Grinch: I dunno. Some kind of soup.

The Grinch: And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast. They'll eat their Who-Pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast. But there's something I just cannot stand in least... Oh no. I'M SPEAKING IN RHYME!