Quotes from Jim Carrey movies and TV shows - page 4 of 8

The Grinch: That's what it's all about right? That's what it's always been about! Gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! Do you know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me...in your garbage. Do you see what I'm saying here? IN YOUR GARBAGE! I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump! And the avarice...[points to mayor.] The avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs!" "I want diamonds!" "I want a pony so I can ride it two times, get bored, and send it to make glue!" Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this WHOLE Christmas season is STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! There is however, one teeny, tiny, Christmas tradition that I find quite meaningful [snatches mistletoe from ring case.] Mistletoe. [Turns around and shouts.] NOW PUCKER UP AND KISS IT, WHOVILLE!

The Grinch: How dare you enter the Grinch's lair!? The impudence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!

Cindy Lou: Um, maybe you need a time out.
Grinch: Kids today. So de-sensitized by movies and television... WHADDAYA WANT?

Movie Nut

The Grinch: Any calls?
Grinch's Answering Machine: You have no messages.
The Grinch: Odd. Better check the outgoing.
Grinch's outgoing message: IF YOU UTTER SO MUCH AS ONE SYLLABLE, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key.
The Grinch: Hmm. Hmm. Oh well.

Grinch: I believe I'm here to...accept...an award of some kind. And...the child...mentioned a cheque.
Cindy Lou: No I didn't!
Grinch: All right, then give me the award! come on! while I'm young.

Cindy Lou Who: Santa, what's the meaning of Christmas?
The Grinch: VENGEANCE! I mean... Presents... I suppose.

The Grinch: What's that stench? It's fantastic.

The Grinch: We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm gonna throw up, and then I'm gonna die! Mommy tell it to stop!

The Grinch: Blast this Christmassy music. It's joyful and triumphant.

The Grinch: Am I just eating because I'm bored?

Mayor: And now, it's time for the moment we've all been waiting for!
Grinch: Ah yes! My award. And the check!
Mayor: There's no check.
Grinch: Are you sure? Because I really thought I heard someone mention a check.
Mayor: There is NO CHECK!

Movie Nut

The Grinch: I'm all toasty inside. And I'm leaking.

The Grinch: All right, you're a reindeer. Here's your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with a red nose, and no-one likes you. Then, one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas. No, forget that part. We'll improvise... just keep it kind of loosey-goosey. You hate Christmas! You're gonna steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending, way too commercial. Action!
[Max knocks off the nose.] The Grinch: Brilliant! You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism. Why didn't I think of that? Cut, print, check the gate, moving on.

Steven Russell: I'm gay. I'm a huge fag. Faggot! That's what they're gonna call me.
Ambulance Attendant: If you say so, sir.

Steven Russell: Fucking Texas.

Steven Russell: Pardon my french. My mother smoked during pregnancy.

Steven Russell: I love you, Phillip Morris! I love you.

Steven Russell: Love sure is a funny thing. Makes you happy, makes you sad, makes you do all sorts of things you never thought you'd do before. In fact, love's the reason I'm lying here dying.

Steve Gray: Your skin makes me cry.

Colonel Stars and Stripes: Try to have fun. Otherwise, what's the point?