Jack Slater: This hero stuff has its limits!
Benedict: Gentlemen! Since you're about to die anyway, I may as well tell you the entire plot. Think of villains, Jack. You want Dracula? Drac-oolah? Hang on, I'll fetch him! Dracula, ha! I can get King Kong! We'll have a nightmare with Freddy Krueger and a surprise party for Adolf Hitler. Hannibal Lector can do the catering. And then we'll all have a christening for Rosemary's Baby. All I have to do is snap my fingers and they'll be here! They're lining up to get here and do you know why, Jack? Shall I tell you why, hm? Because here, in this world, the bad guys can win! I shall miss you, Jack.
Jack Slater: Sir, are you a henchman?
Benedict: No, I only go as far as lackey.
Jack Slater: Why am I wasting time with a dime-store putz like you when I could be doing something much more dangerous, like re-arranging my sock drawers?
Danny Madigan: Say this.
Jack Slater: Hey, grow up.
Danny Madigan: Just say this one word.
Jack Slater: Is this another one of your movie proofs?
Danny Madigan: Maybe.
Jack Slater: Kid... I don't want to say it.
Danny Madigan: Say what? You can't. You can't possibly say it because this movie is PG-13. Admit it.
Jack Slater: Did you make a movie mistake? You forgot to reload the damn gun.
Benedict: No, Jack. I just left one chamber empty.
Nick: There are lots of things worse than movies: politicians, wars, forest fires, famine, plague, sickness, pain, warts, politicians.
Jack Slater: You already mentioned them.
Nick: I know I did. They are twice as bad as anything else.
Jack Slater: Here's another explosion for your movie, kid.
Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker: Sweetheart, wanna have a party?
Benedict: How old are you?
Tammy, Hell's Kitchen Hooker: Forget it.
Tony Vivaldi: Where is it written that I am a bad guy?
Jack Slater: Is this the day you were talking about saving?
Danny Madigan: Don't see you doing anything.
Jack Slater: I wouldn't wanna steal your thunder.
Jack Slater: Look! Elephant.
Jack Slater: Let's say this is a movie. How many times have you heard someone say, "stay in the car," and the guy doesn't? What happens?
Danny Madigan: He saves the day.
Jack Slater: Or, gets killed.
Jack Slater: I think the taxis are bulletproof.
Danny Madigan: Watch it, Jack. He killed Mozart.
Jack Slater: In a movie?
Danny Madigan: Amadeus. It won eight Oscars.
Jack Slater: I saved his life in 'Nam. I'll make sure to be on the lookout. Thanks. Now, no more movies.
Whitney Slater: Freeze! Lose the guns or I redecorate in brain-matter grey, got it?
Tony Vivaldi: Well, I'd love to stay and watch the fun, but, uh, I have to go and establish my alibi. Arrivederci.
Benedict: Here, in this world, the bad guys can win.
Danny Madigan: Where are the ordinary, everyday women? They don't exist because this is a movie.
Jack Slater: No, this is California.
Chosen answer: The kid points them out in the film, in order to convince Arnold's character that he inhabits movieland. Also, after Arnold's character falls into the tar pit he is able to completely wipe himself clean, an obvious intentional continuity error.