Thanos: I am... inevitable.
Tony Stark: And I... am... Iron Man!
Korg: Thor, he's back. That kid on the TV just called me a dickhead again.
Thor: Noobmaster.
Korg: Yeah, Noobmaster69.
Thor: Noobmaster, hey, it's Thor again. You know, the God of Thunder? Listen, buddy, if you don't log off this game immediately, I am gonna fly over to your house, come down to that basement you're hiding in, rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that's right, yes, go cry to your father, you little weasel!
Korg: Thank you, Thor.
Thor: Let me know if he bothers you again, okay?
Korg: Thank you very much, I will.
Steve Rogers: Don't do anything stupid until I come back.
Bucky Barnes: How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you.
Scott Lang: It's crazy.
Natasha Romanoff: Scott, I get emails from a raccoon. So, nothing sounds crazy anymore.
Tony Stark: Honestly, at this exact second, I thought you were a Build-a-Bear.
Rocket: Maybe I am.
Scarlet Witch: You took everything from me.
Thanos: I don't even know who you are.
Scarlet Witch: You will.
Rocket: Quill said he stole the Power Stone from Morag.
Bruce Banner: Is that a person?
Rocket: Morag's a planet, Quill was a person.
Scott Lang: A planet? Like in outer space?
Rocket: Oh, look, it's like a little puppy, all happy and everything. Do you want to go to space, puppy? I'll take you to outer space!
Spider-Man: You will not believe what's been going on. Do you remember when we were in space and I got all dusty? Well I must have passed out because I woke up and you were gone. But Doctor Strange was there, right, and he was like "it's been five years. C'mon they need us" and he started doing the yellow sparkly thing that he does all the time.
Rocket: What did you do?
Thor: I went for the head.
Hulk: Take the stairs. Hate the stairs!
Tony Stark: Why the long face? Let me guess, he turned into a baby?
Frigga: You're not the Thor I know at all, are you?
Thor: Yes, I am.
Frigga: The future hasn't been kind to you, has it?
Thor: I didn't say I was from the future.
Frigga: I was raised by witches, boy. I see with more than eyes and you know that.
Thor: [Crying] I'm totally from the future.
Tony Stark: This thing on? Hey Ms. Potts. If you find this recording, don't feel bad about this. Part of the journey is the end. Just for the record, being adrift in space with zero promise of rescue is more fun than it sounds. Food and water ran out four days ago. Oxygen will run out tomorrow morning. And that'll be it. When I drift off, I will dream about you. It's always you.
Tony Stark: Mr. Rogers, I almost forgot, that suit did nothing for your ass.
Steve Rogers: No one asked you to look, Tony.
Tony Stark: It's ridiculous.
Scott Lang: I think you look great, Cap. As far as I'm concerned, that's America's ass.
Scott: Someone peed my pants! Not sure if it was the baby-me or the old me. Or was it just me me?
Scott Lang: We have enough Pym particles for one journey each, plus two test runs. [He accidentally triggers the device]...One test run.
Thanos: I used the stones to destroy the stones. It nearly killed me, but the work is done. It always will be. I'm inevitable.
James Rhodes: Let's search this place with a search party. He has to be lying.
Nebula: My father is many things. Liar is not one of them.
Tony Stark: Do you trust me?
Steve Rogers: I do.
James Rhodes: Wait, wait a second, let me ask something. If we can do this, you know, back in time, why don't we just find baby Thanos? You know [makes a strangling motion with his hands].. Bruce Banner: First of all, that's horrible...
James Rhodes: It's Thanos!
Steve Rogers: I'd offer to make you dinner, but you look miserable enough already.