Clerk: The hamster hammock is a top seller... Then we have the seesaw, nibblers and the pet playhouse.
Man: There's no room for the pet playhouse.
Clerk: You know, it's funny. You don't strike me as a hamster person.
Man: Well, I am.
Clerk: You seem more like a reptile person... Snakes. That's it. You're a snake person.
Man: Snakes eat hamsters... You know, you remind me a lot of my mother.
Clerk: Really?
Man: Yeah. She wasn't a good listener and she never knew when to shut the f - up. (00:51:41)
Cole: I really don't have good luck with women, they end up being murderers.
Anthony: I want my mommy.
Hua Li: We have excellent news! The matchmaker has found you an auspicious match.
Hua Zhou: It is decided. Come and sit down. It is what is best for our family.
Violet Markey: I wasn't worried about what would happen if I lived. I was worried about what would happen if I didn't.
Shaggy Rogers: Drop some F-bombs.
Blue Falcon: Hey man, whoa, let's keep it PG.
Shaggy Rogers: No! Falcon bombs.
Zoe Hull: Hey, we know you're hurting Roy! Okay? We know mommy, she didn't hug you enough and daddy never said he was proud. You don't need to hide behind stereotypical cavemale aggression. Reach out to that scared little boy inside! Don't push him away.
Fay: Welcome to the afterlife. You've been in a medically-induced coma while we got you out of Ukraine and rebuilt your mouth.
Protagonist: The suicide pills are fake. Why?
Fay: A test.
Otto: I have a gambling problem.
Mr. Grooberson: There hasn't been a ghost sighting in 30 years. New York in the '80s... it's like The Walking Dead. Your dad never mentioned this to you?
Callie: It's just my mom.
George: Better safe than celiac.
Tessa: What's your favorite book?
Trevor: "Principles of Economics" by Alfred Marshall
Tessa: No, it's not.
Trevor: Yes, it is.
Tessa: No, I mean, like fiction. Like a real book.
Trevor: I don't do fiction. I mean, have you seen how I dress?
Tessa: You heathen!
Trevor: Heathen?
Tessa: You heathen. Fiction is an escape from reality. It's a way you can live a hundred lives, or even a thousand.
Trevor: I don't need to live 1,000 years, OK, and I'd rather watch paint dry. (00:18:22)
Nathan Garrity: My friend Teddy says your life flashes in front of your eyes when you die. I think it would be better if it did that while you lived. That way, you could see all the good memories and be happy.
Josh: I'll see you in hell.
Debbie: It's just so strange. Nothing is as I imagined it would be.
Jim Reed: It never is. For anyone.
Mrs. Fisher: I know you feel bad that you weren't there but you gotta let it go.
Cassandra: I'm just trying to fix it.
Mrs. Fisher: Oh, come on. You can't. Don't be a child Cassie.