Best comedy movie quotes of 2018

Superman: Titans, you guys are never actually doing anything heroic.
Cyborg: What about that time we discovered that sweet diner? And they had that food!
Superman: That wasn't even a crime, and you didn't save anything!
Cyborg: We saved room for dessert.

Quantom X ★

Debbie Ocean: If you're going to have a problem with stealing, then you're not going to like the rest of this conversation.

Molly: What's a pervert?
Kate: Nothing.
Molly: Can I have one?

Joel: That is a man with a gun, he tried to cut off our dicks.
Rich: Oh fuck you you wish I touched your dick.

Vivian: I don't sleep with people I like, you know that. I gave that up in the 90's.

Renee Bennett: I can eat whatever I want and still look like this.

Hunter: W, W, V, D, D?
Lisa: What would Vin Diesel do? (00:56:50)

Ethan: You could have told me you were gay.
Simon: Guess I didn't think we had very much in common.
Ethan: You're telling me Simon. It's not like your all hoodie wardrobe rocks my world.

Frank: Maybe you'll find your own fireworks on the cruise.
Dracula: It's not the Love Boat, Frank.

Teacher: I see where he got it.
Erasmus: Don't you think this is the pot calling the kettle black?
Paul: I did notice the word "felching" on your classroom wall which I thought was inappropriate in a classroom.
Teacher: That is "felting".
Paul: Oh, yeah. That makes more sense. Felching isn't until middle school. (01:01:04)

KeyZOid

Oliver Hardy: You're not leaving, are you, Stan? The show must go on.

Zoe: How long have you known me?
Claire: Like a hundred years.
Zoe: And have I once said that "I want to have a baaaaby", or "a husbaaand"?
Claire: No but... to be fair, I am, like, drunk half the time.

Sammo ★

Bough: Sir! Wonderful to see you!
Johnny English: Yes, all right, Bough. We're going on a mission, not a honeymoon.

Shelly 'Elle' Evans: Are you a boy princess or a girl princess?

Donnie: Drink water.

Chrissy: I'm telling.
Ms. Thomson: The principal? Great. Then we can discuss your innovative use of a birth-control dispenser to hide the answers of yesterday's quiz... What? You thought I just assumed you were extra-fertile?

Em: Like, what's the motive behind 300-plus mass shootings every year? There is none. People just burn out, wanna take down their little universe.

Bianca Lind: If you let us go, we might live. If the police don't interfere, nobody will get hurt and we will survive. You can save our lives.
Olof Palme: And the best way to do that is not to let them out on the roads with you.
Bianca Lind: But we are willing to take that risk.
Olof Palme: I wish that would make a difference, but, as Prime Minister, I'm responsible for all the Swedish people.
Bianca Lind: Exactly. But all the Swedish people are not in here, we are trapped in here. We.

King: I suppose if it worked, we'd be dead already.

Harold Soyinka: What kind of a person does not believe in God? (01:23:50)